Top 10 Tips for Managing Down

Management looks really easy, doesn't it? You're awarded a title, and, if you are lucky, an office, and away you go. You bark some orders here and there and then you sit back until it's time to give another directive. Of course, everyone does exactly what you ask of them, because you are the person in charge. If this were really the case, everyone would want to be a manager!

Here are ten tips to help you become the type of manager that everyone wants to work with.

1. Be Credible

It is difficult, if not impossible to get others to follow you if you aren't perceived as being credible. Credibility is not something you earn overnight, although it is certainly something you can destroy in one day. Be mindful of how your words and actions have a direct impact on how others perceive you on a daily basis.

2. Lead by Example 

Behave, as you would want your employees to behave, but also understand that your role is different from that of your employees.

3. Surround Yourself With The Right People

Hire for fit, train for skill and if the opportunity presents itself, hire people who are better than you. Prepare for the arrival of new hires so they immediately feel connected to the organization.

4. Build On Strengths

Weaknesses may be more visible, but strengths are where you will receive a greater return. Find one or two strengths in each of your people and help them become the type of employees you know they can be.

5. Cut Your Losses Early

Mismatches happen, no matter how good you are at interviewing. Take action quickly to avoid having the rest of the team distracted by a poor hire.

6. Cultivate The Success Of Others

To succeed as a manager, you will need to shift your focus from "me" to "we." Going forward, your success will no longer be measured by your individual contribution. Instead, you will be evaluated on your ability to create and maintain a highly engaged team that is willing to give it their all.

7. Manage Performance

People want and need feedback in order to improve their performance. Don't be the manager everyone complains about. Give your people continuous feedback and provide them with timely performance reviews.

8. Be Respectful

One of the quickest ways to lose credibility and trust is by being disrespectful. Regardless of the situation at hand, treat your people the way you would like to be treated.

9. Master The Art of Influencing

As the boss, many times you will be asking people to do things on your behalf. Be specific in your request and let them know why it's in their best interest to comply, and you will be well on your way to getting what you need.

10. Get Respect

As human beings, we have a natural tendency to want to be loved. But what happens when your desire to be loved interferes with your ability to lead? Effective leaders recognize it is more important to be respected by their people than adored. They make the tough decisions that are needed to secure the future of those around them, including their direct reports.

- By Roberta Matuson

How to Build Trust & Develop Relationships with Clients and Employees That Last a Lifetime

When it comes to customer loyalty, nothing is more important than the trust you develop with your customers. Research from Texas A & M University says if customers see you as being trustworthy and reliable and if customers see you fulfilling your promises then they will become enthusiastic customers for life.

The same is true with your co-workers. If your employees see you telling the truth, even when it's not easy or comfortable to do so then you'll build an incredible bond of trust with them. And with that bond of trust will come more cooperation and motivation. 

The lesson is clear. If you want your customers to remain loyal, you must earn and keep their trust. If you want a stronger team at work, you have to build a foundation of trust. 

So trust is your ultimate competitive advantage. 

Now, how do you build or re-build trust? 

4 Ways to Build Trust, Gain Loyalty & Retain Employees and Customers for Life :

1. Assume The Best About Your Employees And Customers :

When something goes wrong, or when the other person disappoints you, start by assuming the best. Don't immediately jump into the fray, pound your desk, froth at the mouth, and demand to know why your employees or customers did something so stupid.

Instead, honor the other person. Rather than focus on WHO's to blame for what went wrong, focus on WHAT can be done about it. That takes the focus off the past and off the other person. It puts the focus onto the future where the two of you can work together.

Besides, if you jump in too quickly, blaming someone for what happened, you'll often embarrass yourself. You may find out that you're really the one to blame for the problem that occurred. 

2. Stick Up For Your Customers Or Employees When They're In The Right :

You build trust when you speak out on someone's behalf, especially when it's not politically popular or interpersonally comfortable. Martin Luther King, Jr. said, "In the end we will not remember the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends."

I'll never forget the time I chaired the task force of a charitable organization. Over a period of time, it came to my attention that the organization had misused funds on several occasions. My task force members urged me to confront the Board and document my findings. They would be there to back me up. 

I did that, but not one of the task force members backed me up when the top leaders lashed out in defense and aggression. If nothing else, I learned that Dr. King was right. It was the silence of my "friends" that I remember the most today.

3. Refuse To Gossip :

There's something very alluring, and maybe even a little satisfying, about sharing a negative tidbit. It may make you feel a bit superior, but you've got to fight the urge to add to the gossip and the people bashing that may go on in the company cafeteria or behind a customer's back. You just can't do it.

The reason is simple. 

Negative gossip almost always gets back to the person you are discussing. That's just the nature of juicy, negative, sensationalized news. And to make matters worse, the version that gets back to the person you discussed is almost always worse than the version you shared. 

4. Keep Your Promises :

Nothing destroys trust faster than failing to keep your promises. 

Think about it. No one ever forgets a promise. You tell your child you'll take her to the amusement park, and she'll remind you fifteen times that "you promised." 

You tell a colleague that you'll get back to him, and he sees it as a promise. You tell a client, that an assignment will be finished by tomorrow and she sees it as a promise. And it doesn't work to go back to them and say you forgot or you got busy. In their minds, you broke your promise, and the trust between the two of you is damaged.

So, if you want to build trust, the solution is simple. Keep your promises.

A Final Thought :

Don't get discouraged, if you're in the process of building or re-building trust in a relationship. Trust takes time. 

Just as it takes more than one block to build a fortress, it takes more than one action to build trust. It takes a lot of blocks, put down … over time … to get the results you want. It works the same way when you're building trust. 

Go ahead and use the four trust building blocks I've just given you and you will: 

- Become a better leader and manager

- Retain your employees – (Don't forget high employee turn-over = higher costs)

- Keep your customers who want to buy from you over and over again for life

- Achieve more than you ever thought possible 

And, it's all because trust is the "ultimate competitive advantage."

- By Alan Zimmerman

Moral Story on Relationship - Give Your 100% in A Relationship

A boy and a girl were playing together. The boy had a collection of marbles. The girl had some sweets with her. The boy told the girl that he will give her all his marbles in exchange for her sweets. The girl agreed.

The boy kept the biggest and the most beautiful marble aside and gave the rest to the girl. The girl gave him all her sweets as she had promised.

That night, the girl slept peacefully. But the boy couldn't sleep as he kept wondering if the girl had hidden some sweets from him the way he had hidden his best marble.

Moral:

If you don't give your hundred percent in a relationship, you'll always keep doubting if the other person has given his/her hundred percent.. This is applicable for any relationship like love, employer-employee relationship etc., Give your hundred percent to everything you do and sleep peacefully

True Love Story

There was once this guy who was very much in love with his girl.

This romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of paper cranes as a gift to his girl.
Although, at that time he was just a small fry in his company, his future doesn't seem too bright, they were very happy together.

Until one day, his girl told him she was going to Paris and will never come back. She also told him that she cannot visualize any future for the both of them, so they went their own ways there and then...

Heartbroken, the guy agreed.

But when he regained his confidence, he worked hard day and night, slogging his body and mind just to make something out of himself.

Finally with all the hard work and the help of friends, this guy had set up his own company ..

You never fail until you stop trying. One rainy day, while this guy was driving, he saw an elderly couple sharing an umbrella in the rain walking to some destination.

Even with the umbrella, they were still drenched.

It didn't take him long to realize they were his girl's parents.

With a heart in getting back at them, he drove slowly beside the couple, wanting them to spot him in his luxury sedan. He wanted them to know that he wasn't the same any more; he had his own company, car, condo, etc.

He made it! What he saw next confused him, the couple was walking towards a cemetery, and so he got out of his car and followed...and he saw his girl, a photograph of her smiling sweetly as ever at him from her tombstone and he saw his paper cranes right beside her...

Her parents saw him. He asked them why this had happened. They explained, she did not leave for France at all.

She was ill with cancer. She had believed that he will make it someday, but she did not want to be his obstacle... therefore she had chosen to leave him.

Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

She had wanted her parents to put his paper cranes beside her, because, if the day comes when fate brings him to her again...he can take some of those back with him...

Once you have loved, you will always love.

For what's in your mind may escape but what's in your heart will remain forever.

The guy just wept.....

The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside her knowing you can't have her, see her or be with her ever again.........hope you understand.

Find time to realize that there is one person who means so much to you, for you might wake up one morning losing that person who you thought meant nothing to you.

- Author Unknown

Only Words

My father is a triathlete. That is, he has competed in several triathlons¯a kind of marathon that includes running as well as swimming and bike riding. He's been doing it for years, and he really enjoys all the sports, but his favorite is bike riding. Ever since I was little, I've always loved going biking with my dad. We would leave the city behind and follow the bike trails way up into the woods of Wisconsin. We had a favorite spot where we would picnic. It was always our special time, and it kept me in great physical shape.

But as I grew older and became a teenager, I was distracted by other things to do with my time. Suddenly, it was very important to go shopping with friends or to a movie with a boy. I saw my dad every evening at home. Why did I have to
devote my free Saturdays to all-day bike trips with him, too?

If my indifference hurt him, he never let on. He never asked me outright, but would always let me know when he was planning a bike trip in case I wanted to come.

I didn't, and as I approached my sixteenth birthday, I wanted to spend less and less time with my dad. Except for one thing I didn't mind being with him when he was giving me a driving lesson.

More than anything else, I wanted that driver's license. It meant freedom. It meant no more waiting for parents to pick me up. No more carpools. It meant looking cool behind the wheel of a car as I drove past my friends' houses. Of course, since I didn't have my own car, I would still be dependent on my parents, since they were allowing me to use theirs.

It was a Sunday morning, and I was in a terrible mood. Two of my friends had gone to the movies the night before and hadn't invited me. I was in my room thinking of ways to make them sorry when my father poked his head in. "Want to go for a ride, today, Beck? It's a beautiful day."

But I preferred to sit in my room and stew. I wasn't very polite when I said, "No! Please stop asking me!" It didn't matter that he hadn't asked me in months. Or that he was trying to cheer me up. It didn't even matter that he just wanted
to be with me, as I knew he did.

"Leave me alone!" That was what I said. Leave me alone. Those were the last words I said to him before he left the house that morning.

My friends called and invited me to go to the mall with them a few hours later. I forgot to be mad at them and went. I came home to find the note propped up against the mirror on the mail table. My mother put it where I would be sure to see it.

"Dad has had an accident. Please meet us at Highland Park Hospital. Don't hurry, just drive carefully. The keys are in the drawer."

I grabbed the keys and tried hard not to speed or cry as I drove.

When I reached the hospital, I went in through the emergency room. I remembered the way because I had been there once before when I broke my arm. I thought about that incident now. I had fallen out of the apple tree in our backyard. I started to scream, but before the scream was out of my mouth, there was my dad, scooping me up, holding me and my injured arm. He held me while my mother drove us to the emergency room. And he held me as they set my arm and put a pink cast on it. I do remember the pain, but I also remember how safe I felt in my dad's strong arms. And I remember the chocolate ice cream afterward.

I saw my sister Debbie first. She told me our mom was in with our dad and that he was going up to surgery soon. She said I had to wait to see him until after the surgery. Just then, my mother came out.

She looked very old. I burst into tears without saying a word, and she put her arms around me.

My father's injuries were extensive. He had been riding on the sidewalk and, as he approached a stoplight, it had turned green. He had the right of way, but the white delivery truck making the right-hand turn didn't think so. At least, the
sixteen-year-old driver didn't think so. Later, he admitted that he never saw my dad because he didn't look in his outside mirror.

The only reason my dad wasn't killed is that he ran into the van; the van did not run into him. He smashed head and face first into the side of the truck. His fiberglass helmet absorbed the blow, but he broke both shoulders and his left
clavicle. The doctors put him in a horrible metal brace that attached to his body with screws. It braced his head and neck and looked horribly painful. My mom forewarned me about this apparatus before she let me see my dad because she was afraid that the sight of him would freak me out. She was right.

Still, as my mom said, it could have been much worse. My dad never lost consciousness. This proved to be a very good thing because the shaken boy who drove the truck wanted to move my dad, to help him up. Even I know you don't move someone who has been injured like that.

"Your father was able to tell the kid to leave him alone and just call 911, thank God! If he had moved Daddy, there's no telling what might have happened. A broken rib might have pierced a lung...."

My mother may have said more, but I didn't hear. I didn't hear anything except those terrible words: Leave me alone.

My dad said them to save himself from being hurt more. How much had I hurt him when I hurled those words at him earlier in the day?

I had to wait until the next afternoon to see him. When I did, he was in terrible pain. I tried to tell him how sorry I was, but I couldn't tell if he heard me.

It was several days later that he was finally able to have a conversation. I held his hand gently, afraid of hurting him.

"Daddy... I am so sorry...."

"It's okay, sweetheart. I'll be okay."

"No," I said, "I mean about what I said to you that day. You know, that morning?"

My father could no more tell a lie than he could fly. He looked at me blankly and said, "Sweetheart, I don't remember anything about that day, not before, during or after the accident. I remember kissing you goodnight the night before,
though." He managed a weak smile.

I never wanted him to leave me alone. And to think it might have happened. If he had been killed, we all would have been left alone. It was too horrible to imagine. I felt incredible remorse for my thoughtless remark.

My English teacher, a very wise woman, once told me that words have immeasurable power. They can hurt or they can heal. And we all have the power to choose our words. I intend to do that very carefully from now on.

BY: Becky Steinberg
Only Words From Chicken Soup for the Soul: Teens Talk Relationships

Beautiful Inspiring Story

One of the most touching and purest love story I've read in a while.

From the very beginning, girl's family objected strongly on her dating this guy, saying that it has got to do with family background, & that the girl will have to suffer for the rest of her life if she were to be with him.

Due to family's pressure, the couple quarreled very often. Though the girl loved the guy deeply, she always asked him: "How deep is your love for me?"

As the guy is not good with his words, this often caused the girl to be very upset. With that & the family's pressure, the girl often vents her anger on him. As for him, he only endured it in silence.

After a couple of years, the guy finally graduated & decided to further his studies overseas. Before leaving, he proposed to the girl: "I'm not very good with words. But all I know is that I love you. If you allow me, I will take care of you for the rest of my life. As for your family, I'll try my best to talk them round. Will you marry me?"

The girl agreed, & with the guy's determination, the family finally gave in & agreed to let them get married. So before he left, they got engaged.

The girl went out to the working society, whereas the guy was overseas, continuing his studies. They sent their love through emails & phone calls. Though it was hard, but both never thought of giving up.

One day, while the girl was on her way to work, she was knocked down by a car that lost control. When she woke up, she saw her parents beside her bed. She realized that she was badly injured. Seeing her mum cry, she wanted to comfort her. But she realized that all that could come out of her mouth was just a sigh. She had lost her voice.

The doctor says that the impact on her brain has caused her to lose her voice. Listening to her parents' comfort, but with nothing coming out from her, she broke down. During the stay in hospital, besides silent cry, it's still just silent cry that accompanied her. Upon reaching home, everything seems to be the same. Except for the ringing tone of the phone which pierced into her heart every time it rang. She does not wish to let the guy know & not wanting to be a burden to him, she wrote a letter to him saying that she does not wish to wait any longer.

With that, she sent the ring back to him. In return, the guy sent millions & millions of reply and countless phone calls. All the girl could do besides crying is still crying. The parents decided to move away, hoping that she could eventually forget everything & be happy.

With a new environment, the girl learnt sign language & started a new life. Telling herself everyday that she must forget the guy. One day, her friend came & told her that he's back. She asked her friend not to let him know what happened to her. Since then, there wasn't anymore news of him.

A year has passed & her friend came with an envelope, containing an invitation card for the guy's wedding. The girl was shattered. When she opened the letter, she saw her name on it instead. When she was about to ask her friend what was going on, she saw the guy standing in front of her.

He used sign language to tell her, "I've spent a year to learn sign language. Just to let you know that I've not forgotten our promise. Let me have the chance to be your voice. I Love You." With that, he slipped the ring back into her finger. The girl finally smiled.

******************************************
Moral :

Treat every relationship as if it's the last one, then you'll know how to give.

Treat every moment as if it's the last day, then you'll know how to Treasure.

Treasure what you have right now, or else you may regret one day.

- Author Unknown

This Is the Best Day of My Life

Being a mother of five children who were all born within seven years tells me I am either very crazy or I love being a mother. For me it is the latter.

From the moment I felt the first baby moving within my womb I was hooked. I knew my calling in life. I went to college; I did all the things that the modern woman is told to do. But, all I really wanted was to be a full-time domestic goddess (as Roseanne Barr used to say).

For many years I was a full-time mother; however, I did have to supplement my husband's income to make ends meet. So I would tend and fall in love with yet more children. Not children that I gave birth to but working mothers' children. I loved those kids like my own. This allowed me to stay home with my own and share my love for others' children. A working mom is a happy mom when her kids are happy. Well, I did my very best to make sure that their kids were happy.

When my last child started school I decided that I would substitute teach at the local schools. I loved it. Again I was allowed to be home with my kids when they were at home. What I didn't realize was that I would be able to go on field trips with my own children. I would have freedom that I hadn't had in a long time. I had never been able to do this when I ran home daycare. I felt that it was a fair trade-off to be home with my kids.

My son, who was eight at the time, brought home a note for a field trip to be signed. For years I had always checked the "No" box where they ask for chaperones. He pleaded with me to go. I already had a substitute job scheduled for that day. I thought about it for a while and I checked the "Yes" box. Jonathan was thrilled to say the least. I quickly notified the teacher that I wouldn't be able to sub on that day, and she would have to find someone else. She wasn't thrilled but she understood.

The field trip day arrived. We were going to ride the "Bell Carol" steamboat down the Cumberland River and then walk to the Spaghetti Factory for lunch. The anticipation was just about to kill my son. He beamed with pride as we walked into the school building together. He introduced me to his class. I was so touched by his tender words and pride in me.

The bus ride from LaVergne, Tennessee, to downtown Nashville is about thirty minutes on a good day. This can be a very long time with ninety-plus kids on a bus. Jonathan wanted me to sit by him. I chose not to be the disciplinarian to the children that I was sitting by that day. I let the teachers and their aides do that. I focused my entire attention on my son, and we talked the entire ride.

We talked about many fun and silly things. I listened while he talked. Our eyes met, and he looked deep inside mine and said, "Mama, this is the best day of my life." My heart was filled with true joy. A soft tear or two rolled down my face and Jonathan asked me, "Mama, don't cry; Mama, why are you crying?" And I answered, "Because you have made this one of the best days of my life."

The true joy of motherhood comes from the simple things that we do for and with our children.

By Dian Tune Lopez

What is Family?

I ran into a stranger as he passed by,
"Oh excuse me please" was my reply.

He said, "Please excuse me too;
I wasn't watching for you."

We were very polite, this stranger and I.
We went on our way and we said goodbye.

But at home a different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.

Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
My son stood beside me very still.

When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.
"Move out of the way," I said with a frown.

He walked away, his little heart broken.
I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.

While I lay awake in bed,
God's still small voice came to me and said,


"While dealing with a stranger,
common courtesy you use,
but the family you love, you seem to abuse.


Go and look on the kitchen floor,
You'll find some flowers there by the door.

Those are the flowers he brought for you.
He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.

He stood very quietly not to spoil the
surprise, you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."

By this time, I felt very small,
And now my tears began to fall.

I quietly went and knelt by his bed;
"Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.

"Are these the flowers you picked for me?"
He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree.

I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.
I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."

I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;
I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."

He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay.
I love you anyway."

I said, "Son, I love you too,
and I do like the flowers,
especially the blue."

FAMILY
Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company that we are working for could easily replace us in a matter of days.
But the family we left behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives.

And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more into work than into our own family, an unwise investment indeed, don't you think? So what is behind the story?


Do you know what the word FAMILY means?
FAMILY = (F)ATHER (A)ND (M)OTHER (I) (L)OVE (Y)OU

- Author Unknown

Relationships

Which Prime Minister would you want as a friend?

Two of the greatest prime ministers in the history of the British Empire were Benjamin Disraeli and William Gladstone. They served Queen Victoria--great men with different personalities and different approaches to life.

A much loved and respected aristocratic lady of the time was seated next to Benjamin Disraeli at a well-attended banquet. They engaged in a lengthy and lively conversation. A few weeks later the same lady was seated next to William Gladstone at yet another banquet. As the Prime Minister he, of course, was highly renowned and respected.

Some time later this woman was asked about the difference between the two men. She responded, "After spending an evening seated by Mr. Gladstone, I became convinced that he was the most brilliant, knowledgeable man in the British Empire. After being seated by Mr. Disraeli, I was convinced that I was the brightest person in the British Empire."

Chances are pretty good, as you reflect on that, you would say that you would naturally want to be a friend of Mr. Disraeli. The point I want to make is that it's not about you--it's about others. Again I repeat my favorite quote: You can have everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.

Our relationships with others are extremely important. Dale Carnegie wrote a great book along those lines, and out of it came a lot of good, common-sense thoughts that make a difference. I'm not certain Carnegie said it, but some very wise person said that people don't really care how much you know until they know how much you care--about them.

The reality is that anybody can say virtually anything they want to say and work hard at impressing you. Unfortunately, many times that's all it is---they are trying to impress you with themselves so that perhaps you will seek a relationship with them and even do something for them. That truly is the height of hypocrisy. When people are genuinely interested in you, in short, when they truly care for and about you, their actions, their demeanor, their every step indicates they believe you are special and conveys that you are important to them.

Every person, regardless of who they are or even where they are, cherishes someone who genuinely cares for them, and when they discover that you are that person, they will want to be your friend, and in the process will listen to what you have to say as they watch what you do. Chances are excellent you will become, in a vague sense, perhaps, but nevertheless you will become a hero to them and a role model to follow.

Yes, relationships are extremely important. If we have an attitude of "What can I do for you" instead of "What can you do for me", chances are pretty good we will have a far more balanced, joyful life than those who take the opposite approach.

- By Zig Ziglar