Leadership Skills Training

5 Irrefutable, Non-Negotiable Laws of Leadership
- By Kevin Berchelmann

Leaders, new and old, sometimes lose sight of the most fundamental tenets of leadership. Here's a reminder…

I frequently tell executives that leadership and its concepts, theories and core applications haven't changed in a millennium.

Some of our demographics may have changed. This forces us to use alternative applications of those concepts. But the basic leadership concepts and theories remain.

So, why don't we "just do it?"

Sometimes we aren't motivated. Sometimes the "time" just doesn't seem right. Maybe we simply forgot some of the basics… hence this article.

When I train companies and corporations worldwide on how to improve management and organization performance, I start off with these 5 laws new and experienced leaders should never ever forget.

Kevin's Leadership Skills Training Survival Kit for New & Experienced Managers

Leadership Law #1: Never delay a decision that must be made.

Make your decision and move on. You may have to immediately make another decision. This doesn't mean your first one was wrong. It merely means that your second one had the benefit of additional knowledge.

Leadership Law #2: When you want something specific done, say so specifically, using clear, plain language.

Employees generally have some difficulty doing their basic jobs. By adding "mind-reading" to their description is just plain unfair.

Do not use hints, implications, or innuendos. Say what you want, and use plain English! Directness counts.

Leadership Law #3: Never answer every employee's every question.

Questions are teaching moments -- don't rob employees of the opportunity. But don't spend your whole time answering questions.

When you always answer every employee's every question, you'll forever be answering your employee's every question. This will leave you with no time to spend on areas that need your direct attention now.

Sounds trite, and I don't mean it to.

If employees are asking because they're stupid, get rid of them. If they are decent employees asking because they do not know, then teach them. They'll know next time, and you'll both be better for it.

Leadership Law #4: Make your expectations clear, then back up a bit and give employees room to do their job.

That doesn't mean to never look back. To inspect what you expect isn't micromanagement. It's good management.

Even your top performers need clear expectations. Give them a target. Provide resources and guidance. Remove obstacles when necessary. Then let them do their job. But, don't forget to check back later, since you still have management responsibilities.

Leadership Law #5: Employees need their managers to be leaders

Your employees don't need a shoulder. They don't need a buddy, a sympatico, or a commiserator. If you want a friend, buy a dog.

We all struggle with this. Everyone wants to be liked, and it always seems difficult to decline a beer after work, or something similar. I'm not advocating a monk-like existence, disallowing any contact with your troops. I'm just merely reminding you that they would like to have a friend, but they need a leader if they are to be successful.

You do want them to be successful, don't you?

Closing Leadership Thoughts :

These leadership laws are fairly intuitive, and certainly not rocket science or brain surgery. They are simple management and leadership truths that have passed the test of time.

Print these out. Laminate it. Put in your top desk drawer and don't forget them.

Self Motivational Story

The Home Stretch
- by Karen Hayse


Four miles! I’ve only run four miles! I stood at the side of the road, dejected, waiting for a relief wagon to pick me up. I hadn’t even run a third of Kansas City’s Hospital Hill Half-Marathon. Six months of training down the drain—all because of a microscopic virus.

Sprained muscles, bad weather . . . I thought I planned for it all. But strep throat?

Add medicine that had side effects like rapid heartbeat and shortness of breath; I didn’t have a prayer of finishing.

Regardless, my parents met me at the finish line with an armful of pink roses. The offering was bittersweet, since I clutched them after climbing out of a van instead of after sprinting across a finish line.

I vowed I’d try again. Unfortunately, Kansas City half-marathons are in short supply, and life got busy again.

For one, I suddenly became a mom of an eight-year-old.

Cute little Mandy Porter had packed all her things, waved good-bye to her foster parents and moved into our spare bedroom. This pixie-like redhead had been passed around like most foster children. Unfortunately, her story was more disheartening than the average one. Twice, she had been placed for adoption and began calling an unfamiliar couple “Mom” and “Dad.” Twice, the stress had been too much for these new parents, and they sent little Mandy back to foster care. Social workers call this an “adoption disruption.” I call it a soul disruption.

My husband and I would become two more in a line of uncertain parents for Mandy. The very day she moved in, we could see why the disruptions had happened. Little Miss Mandy was a tough cookie—throwing tantrums daily, refusing to comply, being passive, being aggressive, being anything but cooperative.

Seven years had passed since my undoing at Hospital Hill at mile four, but even after all those years, I still felt empty and undone at not having finished the 1994 race. Advertisements for the 2001 half-marathon popped up again on store windows. I mulled over whether or not to try again. I had been having hip pain so badly that I was having trouble sleeping and hadn’t run in years.

I oscillated between sending in an application and being realistic. I had little time to prepare. And I had a daughter, now a teenager, who still took immense amounts of time and energy.

I don’t quit. I do what I say. I could hear my own words echo back to me. I thought, This is a perfect opportunity to show this to Mandy—to let her see that I mean it, instead of just hearing it.

I mailed my application and bought new shoes. I found running routes with big hills like the official Hospital Hill course, and I ran them whenever I could squeeze it in.

Too soon, that Sunday morning arrived. Mandy and I swung into a downtown parking spot and headed to the starting line. I told her, “I hope to finish in two and a half hours. Meet me at the finish line at 10:30.”

She nodded.

I lifted her chin and looked into her eyes. “Mandy,” I said, “I don’t quit. Not in this race, and not on you. I am running this race for you.”

With my number pinned securely, I found my place in the mob of runners and lost sight of my precious daughter.

Could I do it? I had to!

I am strong, and I don’t quit! I am strong, and I don’t quit! It was my mantra, the words that patterned my cadence.

Oh no! Is that a raindrop? The gray sky opened up, and sheets of rain began to pelt us. My shoes became soggy and doubled in weight. The wet socks rubbed my feet, forming instant blisters.

I don’t quit! I yelled the words in my mind now, picturing my daughter waiting at the finish line. My hip began to sear with pain, and the raindrops turned to torrents.

I repeated the words, louder and faster at the never-ending hills. Through the pain, I felt exhilarated. I would do it. I was doing it!

Sooner than I realized, I rounded a corner to discover the official clock ticking off the finish times. It read “2:13.” On the one hand, I was thrilled; regardless of all the obstacles, I had finished fifteen minutes sooner than I expected! On the other hand, I kept picturing Mandy inside where it was dry, watching the clock for the time I told her to come out to meet me.

I sprinted the last few yards, planning my strategy to find Mandy in the thick pack of people inside the Crown Center.

But I didn’t have to. There she was—her rain-drenched hair dripping onto her soaked T-shirt. And even through all the raindrops—and now the tears—I could see her beaming smile and her arms open fully to receive me.

“I made it, Mandy! I don’t quit!”

“I knew you would, Mom,” she said, holding me tightly as we stood in a deepening puddle. “I’m so glad you never quit.”

Love

Someone taught you how to love,
and probably didn't know it.
And in return, with every day,
It's now your turn to show it.

When you love, you give a gift,
And when you're gone it stays
To be passed on by the ones you loved
To make some one else's day.

So remember someone who loved you,
And show how much you care,
By sharing all the love they gave
With people everywhere.

When you give away your love,
That doesn't mean it's gone.
Love will last forever,
so open your heart...
and pass it on.

- Unknown

Beautiful Inspiring Story

One of the most touching and purest love story I've read in a while.

From the very beginning, girl's family objected strongly on her dating this guy, saying that it has got to do with family background, & that the girl will have to suffer for the rest of her life if she were to be with him.

Due to family's pressure, the couple quarreled very often. Though the girl loved the guy deeply, she always asked him: "How deep is your love for me?"

As the guy is not good with his words, this often caused the girl to be very upset. With that & the family's pressure, the girl often vents her anger on him. As for him, he only endured it in silence.

After a couple of years, the guy finally graduated & decided to further his studies overseas. Before leaving, he proposed to the girl: "I'm not very good with words. But all I know is that I love you. If you allow me, I will take care of you for the rest of my life. As for your family, I'll try my best to talk them round. Will you marry me?"

The girl agreed, & with the guy's determination, the family finally gave in & agreed to let them get married. So before he left, they got engaged.

The girl went out to the working society, whereas the guy was overseas, continuing his studies. They sent their love through emails & phone calls. Though it was hard, but both never thought of giving up.

One day, while the girl was on her way to work, she was knocked down by a car that lost control. When she woke up, she saw her parents beside her bed. She realized that she was badly injured. Seeing her mum cry, she wanted to comfort her. But she realized that all that could come out of her mouth was just a sigh. She had lost her voice.

The doctor says that the impact on her brain has caused her to lose her voice. Listening to her parents' comfort, but with nothing coming out from her, she broke down. During the stay in hospital, besides silent cry, it's still just silent cry that accompanied her. Upon reaching home, everything seems to be the same. Except for the ringing tone of the phone which pierced into her heart every time it rang. She does not wish to let the guy know & not wanting to be a burden to him, she wrote a letter to him saying that she does not wish to wait any longer.

With that, she sent the ring back to him. In return, the guy sent millions & millions of reply and countless phone calls. All the girl could do besides crying is still crying. The parents decided to move away, hoping that she could eventually forget everything & be happy.

With a new environment, the girl learnt sign language & started a new life. Telling herself everyday that she must forget the guy. One day, her friend came & told her that he's back. She asked her friend not to let him know what happened to her. Since then, there wasn't anymore news of him.

A year has passed & her friend came with an envelope, containing an invitation card for the guy's wedding. The girl was shattered. When she opened the letter, she saw her name on it instead. When she was about to ask her friend what was going on, she saw the guy standing in front of her.

He used sign language to tell her, "I've spent a year to learn sign language. Just to let you know that I've not forgotten our promise. Let me have the chance to be your voice. I Love You." With that, he slipped the ring back into her finger. The girl finally smiled.

******************************************
Moral :

Treat every relationship as if it's the last one, then you'll know how to give.

Treat every moment as if it's the last day, then you'll know how to Treasure.

Treasure what you have right now, or else you may regret one day.

- Author Unknown

Reasons Why God Uses Problems

The problems you face will either defeat you or develop you - depending on how you respond to them.

Unfortunately, most people fail to see how God wants to use problems for good in their lives. They react foolishly and resent their problems rather than pausing to consider what benefit they might bring.

Here are five ways God wants to use the problems in your life:

1.God Uses Problems To DIRECT YOU :

Sometimes God must light a fire under you to get you moving. Problems often point us in a new direction and motivate us to change.

Is God trying to get your attention? "Sometimes it takes a painful situation to make us change our ways."

2. God Uses Problems To INSPECT YOU :

People are like tea bags...if you want to know what's inside them, just drop them into hot ever water! Has God tested your faith with a problem What do problems reveal about you? "When you have many kinds of troubles, you should be full of joy, because you know that these troubles test your faith, and this will give you patience."

3. God Uses Problems To CORRECT YOU :

Some lessons we learn only through pain and failure. It's likely that as a child your parents told you not to touch a hot stove. But you probably learned by being burned. Sometimes we only learn the value of something... health, money, a relationship....by losing it. "It was the best thing that could have happened to me, for it taught me to pay attention to your laws."

4. God Uses Problems To PROTECT YOU :

A problem can be a blessing in disguise if it prevents you from being harmed by something more serious. Last year a friend was fired for refusing to do something unethical that his boss had asked him to do. His unemployment was a problem - but it saved him from being convicted and sent to prison a year later when management's actions were eventually discovered. "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good...

5. God Uses Problems To PERFECT YOU :

Problems, when responded to correctly, are character builders. God is far more interested in your character than your comfort. Your relationship to God and your character are the only two things you're going to take with you into eternity.

"We can rejoice when we run into problems...they help us learn to be patient. And patience develops strength of character in us and helps us trust God more each time we use it until finally our hope and faith are strong and steady."

Here's the point Ad:

God is at work in your life - even when you do not recognize it or understand it. But it's much easier and profitable when you cooperate with Him.

"Success can be measured not only in achievements, but in lessons learned, lives touched and moments shared along the way"

- Author Unknown

Aim of Our Life

Believe in Yourself

There may be days when you get up in the morning and things aren't the way you had hoped they would be.

That's when you have to tell yourself that things will get better. There are times when people disappoint you and let you down.

But those are the times when you must remind yourself to trust your own judgments and opinions, to keep your life focused on believing in yourself.

There will be challenges to face and changes to make in your life, and it is up to you to accept them.

Constantly keep yourself headed in the right direction for you. It may not be easy at times, but in those times of struggle you will find a stronger sense of who you are.

So when the days come that are filled with frustration and unexpected responsibilities, remember to believe in yourself and all you want your life to be.

Because the challenges and changes will only help you to find the goals that you know are meant to come true for you.

Keep Believing in Yourself

- Author Unknown

This Is the Best Day of My Life

Being a mother of five children who were all born within seven years tells me I am either very crazy or I love being a mother. For me it is the latter.

From the moment I felt the first baby moving within my womb I was hooked. I knew my calling in life. I went to college; I did all the things that the modern woman is told to do. But, all I really wanted was to be a full-time domestic goddess (as Roseanne Barr used to say).

For many years I was a full-time mother; however, I did have to supplement my husband's income to make ends meet. So I would tend and fall in love with yet more children. Not children that I gave birth to but working mothers' children. I loved those kids like my own. This allowed me to stay home with my own and share my love for others' children. A working mom is a happy mom when her kids are happy. Well, I did my very best to make sure that their kids were happy.

When my last child started school I decided that I would substitute teach at the local schools. I loved it. Again I was allowed to be home with my kids when they were at home. What I didn't realize was that I would be able to go on field trips with my own children. I would have freedom that I hadn't had in a long time. I had never been able to do this when I ran home daycare. I felt that it was a fair trade-off to be home with my kids.

My son, who was eight at the time, brought home a note for a field trip to be signed. For years I had always checked the "No" box where they ask for chaperones. He pleaded with me to go. I already had a substitute job scheduled for that day. I thought about it for a while and I checked the "Yes" box. Jonathan was thrilled to say the least. I quickly notified the teacher that I wouldn't be able to sub on that day, and she would have to find someone else. She wasn't thrilled but she understood.

The field trip day arrived. We were going to ride the "Bell Carol" steamboat down the Cumberland River and then walk to the Spaghetti Factory for lunch. The anticipation was just about to kill my son. He beamed with pride as we walked into the school building together. He introduced me to his class. I was so touched by his tender words and pride in me.

The bus ride from LaVergne, Tennessee, to downtown Nashville is about thirty minutes on a good day. This can be a very long time with ninety-plus kids on a bus. Jonathan wanted me to sit by him. I chose not to be the disciplinarian to the children that I was sitting by that day. I let the teachers and their aides do that. I focused my entire attention on my son, and we talked the entire ride.

We talked about many fun and silly things. I listened while he talked. Our eyes met, and he looked deep inside mine and said, "Mama, this is the best day of my life." My heart was filled with true joy. A soft tear or two rolled down my face and Jonathan asked me, "Mama, don't cry; Mama, why are you crying?" And I answered, "Because you have made this one of the best days of my life."

The true joy of motherhood comes from the simple things that we do for and with our children.

By Dian Tune Lopez