Be Positive, But Realistic

Positive thinking is essential to success, yet so many people just don't have the persistence required to make it work for them. The reality is, most overnight success stories are no such thing. Just because you've heard of someone for the first time doesn't mean they haven't been working for 20 or 30 years or more to get where they are.

For example, The Apprentice became a big hit when it first aired, but I had over 30 years of experience to draw from in those boardroom scenes. It wasn't just a fluke that I came across as someone who knew what he was doing. The fact that I was on television was new, but the rest wasn't particularly new to me. Business is business, whether it's being filmed or not. My business credentials and experience made up the back story to a show based on a high-stakes New York corporation.

How does positive attitude fit into the making of The Apprentice? First of all, I didn't say no when I was asked to do the show. I knew it was a risk, but I was positive about what might happen. If I had chosen to listen solely to the negatives about the endeavor, such as, "most new TV shows fail" or, "reality TV is on the way out" or, "you'll lose your credibility," and about 50 others, I never would have given the show a thought.

But instead, I chose a positive perspective. I asked myself the "what if" questions. What if it were a success? What if I enjoyed it? What if it proved to be enlightening? What if it brought The Trump Organization more of the recognition it deserved? What if the jobs provided to the winners proved to be a valuable stepping-stone to deserving individuals? I had a long list of positives to go along with the negatives.

I see myself as a cautious positive thinker. When I hear people saying that anything you want to do is possible, to me that's being childish or at least uninformed. Some things are not going to happen. For example, if I decided tomorrow that I wanted to win a gold medal at the Olympics as a swimmer, and I was sure I could because I was so positive about it, I'd need a shrink instead of a swim coach.

You need to be positive every day, but you need to be realistic too.

- By Donald Trump

The Power of Three Little Words

Some of the most significant messages people deliver to one another often come in just three words. When spoken or conveyed, those statements have the power to forge new friendships, deepen old ones and restore relationships that have cooled.

The following three word phrases can enrich every relationship:

I'LL BE THERE - Being there for another person is the greatest gift we can give. When we are truly present for other people, important things happen to them and to us. We are renewed in love and friendship. We are restored emotionally and spiritually. 'Being there' is at the very, very core of civility.

I MISS YOU - Perhaps more marriages could be salvaged and strengthened if couples simply and sincerely said to each other, "I miss you." This powerful affirmation tells partners they are wanted, needed, desired and loved.

I RESPECT YOU - Respect is another way of showing love. Respect conveys the feeling that another person is a true equal. It is a powerful way to affirm the importance of a relationship.

MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT - This phrase is highly effective in diffusing an argument and restoring frayed emotions. The flip side of "maybe you're right" is the humility of admitting "maybe I'm wrong."

PLEASE FORGIVE ME - Many broken relationships could be restored and healed if people would admit their mistakes and ask for forgiveness. All of us are vulnerable to faults, foibles and failures. A man should never be ashamed to own up to he has been in the wrong, which is by saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.

I THANK YOU - Gratitude is an exquisite form of courtesy. People who enjoy the companionship of good, close friends are those who don't take daily courtesies for granted. They are quick to thank their friends for their many expressions of kindness. On the other hand, people whose circle of friends is severely constricted often do not have the attitude of gratitude.

COUNT ON ME - "A friend is one who walks in when others walk out." "Loyalty is an essential ingredient for true friendship; it is the emotional glue that bonds people. Those who are rich in their relationships tend to be steady and true friends. When troubles come, a good friend is there, indicating "you can count on me."

LET ME HELP - The best of friends see a need and try to fill it. When they spot a hurt they do what they can to heal it. Without being asked, they pitch in and help.

I UNDERSTAND YOU - People become closer and enjoy each other more if they feel the other person accepts and understands them. Letting others know in so many little ways that you understand him or her is one of the most powerful tools for healing your relationship.

GO FOR IT - Some of your friends may be non-conformists, have unique projects and unusual hobbies. Support them in pursuing their interests. Rather than urging your loved ones to conform, encourage their uniqueness - everyone has dreams that no one else has.

I suppose the 3 little words that you were expecting to see have to be reserved for those who are special; that is I LOVE YOU.

Be Prepared For Complaints

One of my students told me:

I can't believe it. Before I was devoted to helping others, very few people had complaints against me. It seems that the more I do for others, the more that people are upset with me. Those I help, complain, "Why aren't you doing more?" Those I am unable to help complain, "How come you help other people and not me?" Those who are angry with me for various reasons tell me, "You feel that just because you help people you don't have to live up to other obligations."

When you devote your life to helping others, you are likely to arouse envy, animosity, and resentment. The needs of the people you help can be so great that they will be angry you aren't helping them even more than you are. Your energy, time, and other resources are limited, so those you don't help might feel resentful that you do more for others than you do for them.

Some people will be envious of the good you do. In order to feel better about themselves, they will find it easier to put you down than to do more themselves. They are likely to challenge your motivations when they say things like:

• "He only helps others because of his overblown ego."

• "She only helps those whom she feels will help her."

• "He wants to get ahead politically so he does favors for others."

• "She only does kindness because she is compensating for feelings of inferiority."

Even if it isn't true, cynical or envious people are likely to make these claims. Someone with mixed motives -- he wants to help others and he does enjoy honor -- is likely to feel more hurt about this than someone whose motivations are pure. But anyone who has a sensitive nature can feel hurt.

Being criticized is part of the price one pays for helping others. This elevates you: You are willing to personally suffer in order to do acts of kindness for others. Acknowledge the truth of a complaint and it will be easier to tolerate.

• "Yes. I should do a lot more than I am doing. I'm sorry that I'm limited."

• "I acknowledge that I am only doing a drop in the bucket of what needs to be done."

• "I agree that it would be wonderful if I were doing more than I am."

• "Yes. I am inconsistent. But I feel it's better to continue doing the good that I'm doing than to consistently do nothing for others."

One of my students explained:

I remember how shocked I was when someone whom I've helped greatly told me off in great anger, "You aren't there for me enough when I really need you. O.K., so you did help me before but what about lately!"

After this I heard about being prepared for such occurrences. The next time someone I had helped attacked me for not doing enough for them, I was mentally ready to answer with true compassion, "I'm sorry for not being there when you needed me. I see how much you've suffered. It's really rough."

The amazing thing is that when I said this with sincere concern, the person's anger subsided and I received an apology. My response was, "That's all right. I understand the pressure you were under." We parted with good feelings.

- By Zelig Pliskin

The Grace of God

The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him, and every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming.

Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect him from the elements and to store his few possessions. But then one day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, the smoke rolling up to the sky.

The worst had happened; everything was lost. He was stunned with grief and anger. "God, how could you do this to me!" he cried. Early the next day, however, he was awakened by the sound of a ship that was approaching the island. It had come to rescue him. "How did you know I was here?" asked the weary man of his rescuers. "We saw your smoke signal," they replied.

It is easy to get discouraged when things are going badly. But we shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of pain and suffering. Remember, next time your little hut is burning to the ground--it just may be a smoke signal that summons The Grace of God.

My Best Friend

My best friend is not a teddy I hug instead of crying.
My best friend is not the takeout I have when I'm dizzier than a top.
My best friend is not the drink I had last night at the bar with tomato juice and beer and celery.
My best friend is not the contents of my wallet.
My best friend is not the jewellry I wear to proclaim my own name.
My best friend is not the fame or recognition I get.
My best friend is the one who listens.
My best friend is the one who I matter to.
My best friend is the one who finishes my sentences.
My best friend is the one who has been with me since God knows when.
Because, when the world turns its back
And when everything that my friend is not I lack
Then I still have that treasure...
And then that is the purest source of pleasure.

Uplifting Things To Do Today !!!

* Smile at a stranger

* Drop a coin where a child can find it

* Learn something new and teach it to someone

* Tell someone you love them

* Hug someone

* Forgive someone who has wronged you

* Try saying "I'm sorry" when you ought to

* Tell a child how great they are

* Sing a song about Jesus to yourself

* Keep a promise

* Call someone just to say hello

* Try listening more than talking

* Stand up for what you believe in

* Thank God for His beautiful Creation

* Encourage someone who is feeling down

* Cherish today as if it were your last one

* Tell someone about Jesus

-- Author Unknown

Listening Power

The art of good conversation centers very much on your ability to ask questions and to listen attentively to the answers. You can lace the conversation with your insights, ideas, and opinions, but you perfect the art and skill of conversation by perfecting the art and skill of asking good, well-worded questions that direct the conversation and give other people an opportunity to express themselves.

Ask Open Ended Questions :

Ask open-ended questions that cannot be answered with a simple "yes" or "no." Open-ended questions encourage the speaker to expand on his thoughts and comments. And one question will lead to another. You can ask open-ended questions almost endlessly, drawing out of the other person everything that he or she has to say on a particular subject.

Be Content to Listen :

In order to be an excellent conversationalist, you must resist the urge to dominate the discussion. The very best conversationalists seem to be low-key, easy-going, cheerful, and genuinely interested in the other person. They seem to be quite content to listen when other people are talking and they make their own contributions to the dialogue rather short and to the point.

Share the Opportunity to Talk :

In fact, good conversation has an easy ebb and flow, like the tide coming in and going out. Whether it is between two people or among several, the conversation should shift back and forth, with each person getting an opportunity to talk. Conversation in this sense is like a ball that is tossed from person to person, with no one holding on to it for very long.

If you feel that you have been talking for too long, you should stop and ask a question of someone in the group. You will be tossing the conversational ball and giving that individual an opportunity to converse.

Learn to Listen Well :

Listening is the most important of all skills for successful conversation. Many people are very poor listeners. Since everyone enjoys talking, it takes a real effort to practice the fundamentals of excellent listening and to make them a habit.

Action Exercises :

Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.

1. First, make a habit of asking good, open-ended questions of others in every conversation and in response to problems or difficulties. This shows interest and increases your understanding.

2. Second, take a deep breath, relax and let the other person talk more. Practice over and over until you become an excellent listener.