Fun Joke - Don't DRIVE WITH UR WIFE

A man who was driving a car with his wife was stopped by a police officer.
The following exchange took place.
The man says, "What's the problem, officer?"
Officer: "You were going at least 75 speed in a 55 zone."
Man: "No sir, I was going 65 km."
Wife: "Oh, Harry. You were going 80 km/p." (The man gave his wife a
dirty look.)
Officer: "I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken taillight. "
Man: "Broken taillight? I didn't know about a broken taillight!"
Wife: "Oh Harry, you've known about that taillight for weeks." (The man
gave his wife another dirty look.)
Officer: "I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt."
Man: "Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car."
Wife: "Oh Harry, you never wear your seat belt."
The ! man turned to his wife and yelled, "SHUT YOUR MOUTH!"
The officer turned to the woman and asked, "Ma'am, does your husband talk
to you this way all the time?"
The wife said, "No, only when he's drunk."

Seeing Things from New Point of View...!!!

Imagine you're at the airport. While you're waiting for your flight, you notice a kiosk selling cookies. You buy a box, put them in your travelling bag and then you patiently search for an available seat so you can sit down and enjoy your cookies. Finally you find a seat next to a gentleman. You reach down into your travelling bag and pull out your box of cookies. As you do so, you notice that the gentleman starts watching you intensely.

He stares as you open the box and his eyes follow your hand as you pick up the cookie and bring it to your mouth. Just then he reaches over and takes one of your cookies from the box, and eats it! You're more than a little surprised at this. Actually,you're at a loss for words. Not only does he take one cookie, but he alternates with you. For every one cookie you take, he takes one.

Now, what's your immediate impression of this guy? Crazy? Greedy? He's got some nerve?! Can you imagine the words you might use to describe this man to your associates back at the office? Meanwhile, you both continue eating the cookies until there's just one left. To your surprise, the man reaches over and takes it. But then he does something unexpected. He breaks it in half, and gives half to you. After he's finished with his half he gets up, and without a word, he leaves.

You think to yourself, "Did this really happen?" You're left sitting there dumbfounded and still hungry. So you go back to the kiosk and buy another box of cookies. You then return to your seat and begin opening your new box of cookies when you glance down into your travelling bag. Sitting there in your bag is your original box of Cookies -- still unopened.

Only then do you realize that when you reached down earlier, you had reached into the other man's bag, and grabbed his box of cookies by mistake. Now what do you think of the man? Generous? Tolerant?

You've just experienced a profound paradigm shift. You're seeing things from a new point of view. Is it time to change your point of view?

Now, think of this story as it relates to your life. Seeing things from a new point of view can be very enlightening. Think outside the box. Don't settle for the status quo. Be open to suggestions. Things may not be what they seem. This week try questioning ONE paradigm you have been holding onto for years and see the difference......

Positive Advice Story - Look Within Ourselves.

A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought, she might need a hearing aid . Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family Doctor to discuss the problem. The Doctor told him there is a simple informal test, the husband could perform to give the Doctor, a better idea about her hearing loss.

 

"Here's what you do," said the Doctor," stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone, see if she hears you. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response".

 

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen, cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens".

 

Then in a normal tone he asks, 'Honey, what's for dinner?" No response.

 

So, the husband moves to closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats, "Honey, what's for dinner?" Still no response.

 

Next, he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks, "Honey, what's for dinner?" Again he gets no response.

 

So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for dinner?" Again there is no response.

 

So, he walks right up behind her." Honey, what's for dinner?" "James, for the FIFTH time I've said, CHICKEN!"

 

Sometimes, the problem may not be with the other one as we always think, could be, very much within us..! Lets look within ourselves before we find fault with others........

Indian Mind - Enjoy Story.

IT IS NOT A STORY BUT A TRUE INCIDENT THAT HAPPENED IN AMERICA.

 

An Indian man walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan  officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to India on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

 

The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Indian man hands over the keys to a new Ferrari parked on the street in front of the bank. He produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.

 

The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Indian for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then drives the Ferrari into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

 

Two weeks later, the Indian returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.The loan officer says, "Sir, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely,but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi millionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow "$5,000".

 

The Indian replies: "Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return".

 

Ah, the mind of the Indian...

 

This is why India is shining...!!!

Positive Mantra - Life is Coffee Enjoy It.

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university lecturer. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life. Offering his guests coffee, the lecturer went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups: porcelain, plastic, glass, some plain-looking and some expensive and exquisite, telling them to help themselves to hot coffee. When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the lecturer said:

"If you noticed, all the nice-looking, expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the better cups and are eyeing each other's cups."

"Now, if Life is coffee, then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, but the quality of Life doesn't change. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee in it."

So please, don't let the cups drive you...enjoy the coffee.....and make it a great week ahead...!!!

Inspiting Tips - Focus on Solutions & Not on Problems...!!!

When NASA began the launch of astronauts into space, they found out that the pens wouldn't work at zero gravity (ink won't flow down to the writing surface). To solve this problem, it took them one decade and $12 million.

What did they do?

They developed a pen that worked at zero gravity, upside down, underwater, in practically any surface including crystal and in a temperature range from below freezing to over 300 degrees C.

The Russians too faced a similar problem but didn't want to spend a huge amount of money.

And what did the Russians do? They used a pencil instead!

Problems may appear complex but underneath the complexity there is always simplicity. Look for simple solutions and you shall find them. Focus on solutions & not on problems.....at work and in relationships and....................

Make it a great week ahead!

Attain Peace - In a Meditative Way

So we may know God better
And feel his quiet power,
Let us daily keep in silence
A meditation hour.
For to understand God's greatness
And to use his gifts each day,
I must learn to meet Him
In a meditative way.
For our Father tells his children
If they would know His will,
They must seek Him in the silence
When all is calm and still.

For nature's greatest forces
Are found in quiet things,
Like softly falling snowflakes
Drifting down on angels' wings,
Or petals dropping soundlessly
From a lovely full-blown rose.
God comes closest to us
When our souls are in repose,
So let us plan with prayerful care
To always allocate
A certain portion of each day
To be still and meditate.

Positive Thinking Story, Think Beyond the Obvious

A big company was hiring new staff, the question of the written exam was:

You are driving a car on one big storm night, you are passing a station, there are three people who are waiting for the bus; one old lady who is dying, one doctor who saved your life before, one man/woman who is someone you have been dreaming to be with. You can only take one passenger, which one you will choose? Please explain.

Normal reason:

Old lady is going to die, you should save her first, however, old people always end up dying anyway, you should take the doctor, because the doctor saved my life before, this is the perfect chance to pay him back. At the same time, some people believe that you can always pay the doctor back in the future, but you may never be able to find the perfect lover once you pass this chance.

The Final Result:

Within the two hundred candidates, the one who has been hired did not explain his answer, he simply stated that "Give the car key to the doctor, let the doctor take the old lady to the hospital and I stay to wait for the bus with the lady of my dream!"

Everyone I know think the above answer is the best answer, but there is no one (including myself) thinks of this answer first. Is that because we never want to give up any advantage that we hold in our hands (the car)? Sometimes, we would gain more if we were able to give up our stubbornness, limitations, and advantages. Think beyond the obvious.

Inspiring Article - Reach For Your Star

Do not take anything as being forever, because forever is only as long as today.

Know that the people who are the richest are not those who have the most, but those who need the least.

That we are at our strongest when life is at it's worst, and at our weakest when life no longer offers a challenge.

That it is wiser not to expect, but to hope, for in expecting you ask for disappointment, whereas in hoping you invite surprise.

That unhappiness doesn't come from not having something you want, but from the lack of something inside that you need.

That there are things to hold and things to let go. and letting go doesn't mean you lose, but that you acquire that which has been waiting around the corner.

Most of all......Remember to use your dreams as a way of knowing yourself better, and as an inspiration to reach for Your Star!

Author Unknown...

Today Is Teddy Bear's Picnic.

If you go down to the woods today
You're sure of a big surprise
If you go down to the woods today
You'd better go in disguise
For ev'ry bear that ever there was
Will gather there for certain, because
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic.

Ev'ry teddy bear who's been good
Is sure of a treat today.
There's lots of marvelous things to eat
And wonderful games to play

Beneath the trees where nobody sees
They'll hide and seek as long as they please
Cause that's the way the teddy bears have their picnic

If you go down to the woods today
You'd better not go alone
It's lovely down in the woods today
But safer to stay at home

For ev'ry bear that ever there was
Will gather there for certain, because
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic.

Picnic time for teddy bears
The little teddy bears are having a lovely time today
Watch them, catch them unawares
And see them picnic on their holiday.

See them gaily gad about
They love to play and shout;
They never have any care;

At six o'clock their mummies and daddies,
Will take them home to bed,
Because they're tired little teddy bears.

Inspiring Thought - Master Is The Door.

You are lost on the street. There is rain, thunder, wind, and cold; you need shelter. You look around and you find a door. You come to the door because it is more inviting, more charming, more joyful than anything out on the street.

When you enter the door of the Master, you come Home. You see the world from a new perspective. From inside you can still hear the thunder and see the rain, but it no longer disturbs you. Inside there is warmth and security. The world looks much more beautiful - not a nasty place, but a place filled with love, cooperation, compassion. Your fear drops away.

When you can see the whole world through the eyes of the Master, it is a sign that you have come to the Master; you have entered the door. This is the purpose of having a Master.

If you are still seeing the world as before, then you have not yet come to the Master; you are still standing out in the street, cold and wet; you are only looking at the door, you have not yet entered in.

What does it mean to "see through the eyes of the Master"? Just this: Every situation that you face, you are thinking - If this situation comes in front of the Master, how would he handle it? If this complication comes to the Master, how would he take it? If someone blames the Master, what would he do?

The key is to feel the Presence of the Master. The Master is the Presence, not a relationship. Relationships can be broken, mended and broken again. There is craving and aversion in every relationship. This is the wheel of samsara, the misery of the world. All relationships go topsy-turvy, whereas the Presence is vast, infinite, stable and centered.

Don't make the Master a worldly relationship. "Oh, he looked at me". "Oh, he said this". "He didn't say that". "Somebody else is close; I am not close". All this garbage comes into it.

Just enter the door of the Master and come Home. Only the Presence of the Master will bring fulfillment to your life - and to all your relationships.

July 12, 1995 - Guru Purnima Morning, Montreal Ashram (Ontario, Canada)

Funny Messages - Call Centre Jobs :-)

1>

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer "No."
Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."

2>

Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."
Tech Support:: "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"

3>

Customer:: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support:: "Tell me what you've done."
Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."
Tech Support:: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer:: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech Support:: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer:: "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No..."

4>

Customer:: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support:: ?!%#$

5>

Tech Support:: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

6>

Tech Support:: "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer:: "A white one."

7>

Tech Support:: "Type 'A:' at the prompt."
Customer:: "How do you spell that?"

8>

Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?"
Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store."

9>

Tech Support:: "What operating system are you running?"
Customer: "Pentium."

10>

Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."

11>

Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."

12>

Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"

13>

Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech Support: "What does it say?"
Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."

14>

Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"

15>

Tech Support:: "What does the screen say now?"
Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support:: "Well?"
Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"

16>

A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that his computer is faulty.
Tech: What's the problem?
User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech: You'll need a new power supply.
User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.
User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup and it will fix the problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command. 10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.
Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will fix the problem.
User: I knew it!
Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes.

10 minutes later.

User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User: MS-DOS 6.22.
Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes.

1 hour later.

User: I need a new power supply.
Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?
User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he started asking questions about the make of power supply.
Tech: Then what did he say?
User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with NOSMOKE

Motivating Story - Family.

F A M I L Y

I ran into a stranger as he passed by,
"Oh excuse me please" was my reply.

He said, "Please excuse me too;
I wasn't watching for you."

We were very polite, this stranger and I.
We went on our way and we said goodbye.

However, at home a different story is told,
How we treat our loved ones, young and old.

Later that day, cooking the evening meal,
My son stood beside me very still.

When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.
"Move out of the way," I said with a frown.

He walked away, his little heart broken.
I did not realize how harshly I had spoken.

While I lay awake in bed,
God's still small voice came to me and said,

"While dealing with a stranger,
common courtesy you use,
but the family you love, you seem to abuse.

Go and look on the kitchen floor,
you will find some flowers there by the door.

Those are the flowers he brought for you.
He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.

He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise;
you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."

By this time, I felt very small,
and now my tears began to fall.

I quietly went and knelt by his bed;
"Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.

"Are these the flowers you picked for me?"
He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree.

I picked 'em because they are pretty like you.
I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."

I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted today;
I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."
He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay.
I love you anyway."

I said, "Son, I love you too,
and I do like the flowers, especially the blue."

FAMILY

Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company
that we are working for could easily replace us in
a matter of days.
However, the family we left behind will feel the loss
for the rest of their lives.

And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more
into work than into our own family,
an unwise investment indeed,
don't you think?

 

Inspirational Story - The Greatest Gifts Happen When You Share Love & Touch Others

The Necklace - The Pearls for a Little Girl.

 

The cheerful little girl with bouncy golden curls was almost five. Waiting with her mother at the checkout stand, she saw them a circle of glistening white pearls in a pink foil box.

 

"Oh mommy please, Mommy. Can I have them? Please, Mommy, please?"

 

Quickly the mother checked the back of the little foil box and then looked back into the pleading blue eyes of her little girl's upturned face.

 

"A dollar ninety-five.  That's almost $2.00. If you really want them, I'll think of some extra chores for you and in no time you can save enough money to buy them for yourself.  Your birthday's only a week away and you might get another crisp dollar bill from Grandma."

 

As soon as Jenny got home, she emptied her penny bank and counted out 17 pennies. After dinner, she did more than her share of chores and she went to the neighbor and asked Mrs. McJames if she could pick dandelions for ten cents. On her birthday, Grandma did give her another new dollar bill and at last, she had enough money to buy the necklace. Jenny loved her pearls. They made her feel dressed up and grown up. She wore them everywhere, Sunday school, kindergarten, even to bed. The only time she took them off was when she went swimming or had a bubble bath.  Mother said that if they got wet, they might turn her neck green.

 

Jenny had a very loving daddy and every night when she was ready for bed, he would stop whatever he was doing and come upstairs to read her a story. One night as he finished the story, he asked Jenny,

 

"Do you love me?"

 

"Oh yes, daddy. You know that I love you."

 

"Then give me your pearls."

 

"Oh, daddy, not my pearls. But you can have Princess, the white horse from my collection, the one with the pink tail. Remember, daddy? The one you gave me. She's my very favorite."

 

"That's okay, Honey, daddy loves you. Good night."

 

And, he brushed her cheek with a kiss. About a week later, after the story time, Jenny's daddy asked again,

 

"Do you love me?"

 

"Daddy, you know I love you."

 

"Then give me your pearls."

 

"Oh Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have my baby doll. The brand new one I got for my birthday. She is beautiful and you can have the yellow blanket that matches her sleeper."

 

"That's okay. Sleep well. God bless you, little one. Daddy loves you."

 

And as always, he brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss. A few nights later when her daddy came in, Jenny was sitting on her bed with her legs crossed.  As he came close, he noticed her chin was trembling and one silent tear rolled down her cheek.

 

"What is it, Jenny? What's the matter?"

 

Jenny didn't say anything but lifted her little hand up to her daddy. And when she opened it, there was her little pearl necklace. With a little quiver, she finally said,

 

"Here, daddy, this is for you."

 

With tears gathering in his own eyes, Jenny's daddy reached out with one hand to take the dime store necklace, and with the other hand he reached into his pocket, pulled out a blue velvet case with a strand of genuine pearls, and gave them to Jenny. He had them all the time. He was just waiting for her to give up the dime-store stuff so he could give her the genuine treasure. So it is, with our Heavenly Father. He is waiting for us to give up the cheap things in our lives so that he can give us beautiful treasures. Isn't God good? Are you holding onto things that God wants you to let go of? Are you holding on to harmful or unnecessary partners, relationships, habits and activities that you have come so attached to that it seems impossible to let go? Sometimes it is so hard to see what is in the other hand but do believe this one thing. God will never take away something without giving you something better in its place.

 

You can do two things with this story:

 

A. Pass it on and let others be touched by its message.
B. Throw it away and not let it touch your heart.

 

The greatest gifts happen when you share love and touch others...!!!

What A Rose Can Say to Positive People?

A rose can say I love you and want you to be mine,
A rose can say I thank you for being so very kind,
A rose can say congratulations, whatever the occasion may be,
A rose can say I miss you and wish you were here with me,
A rose can say I'm sorry if I've hurt you in any way,
A rose can say get well soon, May God bless you today,
A rose can say I wish you happiness, and the best for you each day.
A rose can say farewell when someone goes away,
A rose can say hello, I'm thinking of you today,
There's just so many wonderful things that a rose can say,
A rose can say goodbye when a love one is laid to rest,
No matter what there is to say, a rose can say it best.

 

Poetry by Margie Driver

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why they are named so...?

Yahoo!

 

The word was invented by Jonathan Swift and used in his book Gulliver's Travels. It represents a person who is repulsive in appearance and action and is barely human. Yahoo! founders Jerry Yang and David Filo selected the name because they considered themselves yahoos.

 

Xerox

 

The Greek root "xer" means dry. The inventor, Chestor Carlson, named his product Xerox as it was dry copying, markedly different from the then prevailing wet copying.

 

Sun Microsystems

 

Founded by four Stanford University buddies, Sun is the acronym for Stanford University Network.

 

Sony

 

From the Latin word 'sonus' meaning sound, and 'sonny' a slang used by Americans to refer to a bright youngster.

 

SAP

 

"Systems, Applications, Products in Data Processing", formed by four ex-IBM employees who used to work in the 'Systems / Applications / Projects' group of IBM.

 

Red Hat

 

Company founder Marc Ewing was given the Cornell lacrosse team cap (with red and white stripes) while at college by his grandfather. He lost it and had to search for it desperately. The manual of the beta version of Red Hat Linux had an appeal to readers to return his Red Hat if found by anyone!

 

Oracle

 

Larry Ellison and Bob Oats were working on a consulting project for the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA). The code name for the project was called Oracle (the CIA saw this as the system to give answers to all questions or something such).

 

Motorola

 

Founder Paul Galvin came up with this name when his company started manufacturing radios for cars. The popular radio company at the time was called Victrola.

 

Microsoft

 

It was coined by Bill Gates to represent the company that was devoted to MICROcomputer SOFTware. Originally christened Micro-Soft, the '-' was removed later on.

 

Lotus

 

Mitch Kapor got the name for his company from the lotus position or 'padmasana.' Kapor used to be a teacher of Transcendental Meditation of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi.

 

Intel

 

Bob Noyce and Gordon Moore wanted to name their new company 'Moore Noyce' but that was already trademarked by a hotel chain, so they had to settle for an acronym of INTegrated ELectronics.

 

Hewlett-Packard

 

Bill Hewlett and Dave Packard tossed a coin to decide whether the company they founded would be called Hewlett-Packard or Packard-Hewlett.

 

Hotmail

 

Founder Jack Smith got the idea of accessing email via the web from a computer anywhere in the world. When Sabeer Bhatia came up with the business plan for the mail service, he tried all kinds of names ending in 'mail' and finally settled for Hotmail as it included the letters "html" - the programming language used to write web pages. It was initially referred to as HoTMaiL with selective upper casings.

 

Google

 

The name started as a jockey boast about the amount of information the search-engine would be able to search. It was originally named 'Googol', a word for the number represented by 1 followed by 100 zeros. After founders - Stanford graduate students Sergey Brin and Larry Page presented their project to an angel investor, they received a cheque made out to 'Google.

 

Cisco

 

The name is not an acronym but an abbreviation of San Francisco. The company's logo reflects its San Francisco name heritage. It represents a stylized Golden Gate Bridge.

 

Apple Computers

 

Favorite fruit of founder Steve Jobs. He was three months late in filing a name for the business, and he threatened to call his company Apple Computers if the other colleagues didn't suggest a better name by 5 o'clock.

 

Apache

 

It got its name because its founders got started by applying patches to code written for NCSA's httpd daemon. The result was 'A PAtCHy' server - thus, the name Apache.

 

Adobe

 

The name came from the river Adobe Creek that ran behind.

 

 

Funny Story - Mischievous Brothers ;-)

Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous. They are always getting into trouble and their parents know all about it. If any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved.

 

The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually.

 

So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon. The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Do you know where God is, son?"

 

The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open. So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?!"

 

Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God?!"

 

The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "what happened?" The younger brother, gasping for breath,replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time.

 

("I just LOVE reading next line again and again")

 

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GOD is missing, and they think we did it!

You Are Everything For Me :-)

A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, he said...No.
She asked him if he would want to be with her forever....and he said No.

 

She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, and once again he replied with a No.

She had heard enough.

 

As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said....

 

You're not pretty you're beautiful.

 

I don't want to be with you forever. I NEED to be with you forever.

 

And I wouldn't cry if you walked away...I'd die...

 

You are Everything To Somebody
Right now at this Very Minute.........!!!

Steps to Inner Happiness

Steps to Inner Happiness...!!!

• You can't be all things to all people.
• You can't do all things at once.
• You can't do all things equally well.
• You can't do all things better than everyone else.
• Your humanity is showing just like everyone else's.

So:

• You have to find out who you are, and be that.
• You have to decide what comes first, and do that.
• You have to discover your strengths, and use them.
• You have to learn not to compete with others,

Because no one else is in the contest of *being you*.

 

Then:

• You will have learned to accept your own uniqueness.
• You will have learned to set priorities and make decisions.
• You will have learned to live with your limitations.
• You will have learned to give yourself the respect that is due.

And you'll be a most vital mortal.

 

Dare To Believe:

• That you are a wonderful, unique person.
• That you are a once-in-all-history event.
• That it's more than a right, it's your duty, to be who you are.
• That life is not a problem to solve, but a gift to cherish.

And you'll be able to stay one up on what used to get you down.

 

- (Author Unknown)

Taking Risks Is a Life

Remember that Risks must be taken because the greatest tragedy in life is to risk nothing.

 

The person who risks nothing, do nothing, and has nothing to look forward to.
He is nothing.

 

By avoiding risks, you may avoid some suffering and sorrow,
but you can't learn, feel, change, grow and love.

 

Only a person who risks is free.
He Dreams. He takes Risks. He Succeeds.

Love Makes Your Heart Most Beautiful...

One day a young man was standing in the middle of the town proclaiming that he had the most beautiful heart in the whole valley.

 

A large crowd gathered and they all admired his heart for it was perfect. There was not a mark or a flaw in it. Yes, they all agreed it truly was the most beautiful heart they had ever seen. The young man was very proud and boasted more loudly about his beautiful heart.

 

Suddenly, an old man appeared at the front of the crowd and said, "Why your heart is not nearly as beautiful as mine." The crowd and the young man looked at the old man's heart. It was beating strongly, but full of scars, it had places where pieces had been removed and other pieces put in, but they didn't fit quite right and there were several jagged edges. In fact, in some places there were deep gouges where whole pieces were missing.

 

The people stared - "How can he say his heart is more beautiful?" they thought.

 

The young man looked at the old man's heart and saw its state and laughed. "You must be joking," he said. "Compare your heart with mine, mine is perfect and yours is a mess of scars and tears."

 

"Yes," said the old man, "Yours is perfect looking but I would never trade with you. You see, every scar represents a person to whom I have given my love - I tear out a piece of my heart and give it to them, and often they give me a piece of their heart which fits into the empty place in my heart, but because the pieces aren't exact, I have some rough edges, which I cherish, because they remind me of the love we shared.

 

Sometimes I have given pieces of my heart away, and the other person hasn't returned a piece of his heart to me. These are the empty gouges - giving love is taking a chance. Although these gouges are painful, they stay open, reminding me of the love I have for these people too, and I hope someday they may return and fill the space I have waiting. So now do you see what true beauty is?"

 

The young man stood silently with tears running down his cheeks. He walked up to the old man, reached into his perfect young and beautiful heart, and ripped a piece out. He offered it to the old man with trembling hands. The old man took his offering, placed it in his heart and then took a piece from his old scarred heart and placed it in the wound in the young man's heart. It fit, but not perfectly, as there were some jagged edges.

 

The young man looked at his heart, not perfect anymore but more beautiful than ever, since love from the old man's heart flowed into his.

 

They embraced and walked away side by side.

 

- Author Unknown

Best Moments in Life :-)

Some of the Best Moments in Life...

• To fall in love.
• To laugh until it hurts your stomach.
• To find mails by the thousands when you return from a vacation.
• To go for a vacation to some pretty place.
• To listen to your favorite song in the radio.
• To go to bed and to listen while it rains outside.
• To leave the! shower and find that the towel is warm.
• To clear your last exam.
• To receive a call from someone, you don't see a lot, but you want to.
• To find money in a pant that you haven't used since last year .
• To laugh at yourself looking at mirror, making faces.:)))
• Calls at midnight that last for hours.:))
• To laugh without a reason.
• To accidentally hear somebody say something good about you.
• To wake up and realize it is still possible to sleep for a couple of hours.
• To hear a song that makes you remember a special person.
• To be part of a team.
• To watch the sunset from the hill top.
• To make new friends.
• To feel butterflies! in the stomach every time that you see that person.
• To pass time with your best friends.
• To see people that you like, feeling happy.
• To use a sweater of the person that you like and find that it still smells of their perfume.
• See an old friend again and to feel that the things have not changed.
• To take an evening walk along the beach.
• To have somebody tell you that he/she loves you.
• To laugh .......laugh........and laugh ...... remembering stupid things done with stupid friends.

These are the best moments of life....Let us learn to cherish them...

 

Prayer from the Divine World.

I Am the Light of the Heart
shining in the darkness of existence,
and everything changing in the Divine Power
of the Spirit of Christ.
I am sending my love into the world,
to wipe out all faults
and to clean up all obstacles.
I am the Power of the infinite Love,
which intensifies itself until she will triumph.
World with no end!
We all with no end!

A Lesson on Life, Perspective Thinking...!

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live.

 

They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family.

 

On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, "How was the trip?"

 

"It was great, Dad."

 

"Did you see how poor people live?" the father asked.

 

"Oh yeah," said the son.

 

"So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.

 

The son answered:

 

"I saw that we have one dog and they had four.

 

We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end.

 

We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.

 

Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon.

 

We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight.

 

We have servants who serve us, but they serve others.

 

We buy our food, but they grow theirs.

 

We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them."

 

The boy's father was speechless.

 

Then his son added, "Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are."

 

Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have.

What Came First? It 's Egg say British Experts.

London: It’s an age-old debate: What came first, the chicken or the egg? A British scientist says it was the egg. And he has the backing of a philosopher and a chicken farmer.

 

According to the scientist, Prof. John Brookfield, a specialist in evolutionary genetics at the University of Nottingham, it’s very simple. The bird, which has now evolved into a chicken, would have first existed as an embryo inside the egg during pre-historic times.

 

"Therefore, the first living thing which we could say unequivocally was a member of the species would be this first egg," he was quoted across British dailies. "So, I would conclude that the egg came first."

 

Brookfield’s views have been endorsed by Prof David Papineau of King's College London, and Charles Bourns, a poultry farmer and the chairman of a trade body called Great British Chicken. Papineau, whose subject is the philosophy of science, have also reached the conclusion that the first chicken came from an egg and that proves there were chicken eggs before chickens. Papineau says that those argue that the mutant egg belonged to the "non-chicken" parents, are mistaken.

 

"I would argue that it is a chicken egg if it has a chicken in it," he was quoted as saying. "If a kangaroo laid an egg from which an ostrich hatched, that would surely be an ostrich egg, not a kangaroo egg."

 

The poultry farmer Bourns also belongs to the eggs’ side. "Eggs were around long before the first chicken arrived," he stated.

Funny Divorce Letter :-)

*********************************

Dear Husband

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, whatever the case is, I'm gone.

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Your Ex-wife

*********************************
Dear Ex-Wife

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if
you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica . But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.

*********************************

LOVE IS BLIND (Explained) - Worth Reading...!!!

A long time ago, before the world was created and humans set foot on it, God had put all the human "qualities" in a separate room. Since all the qualities were bored they decided to play hide & seek. "Madness" was one of the qualities and he shouted: "I want to count, I want to count!"

 

And since nobody was crazy enough to want to seek "Madness", all the other qualities agreed. So "Madness" leaned against a tree and started to count:

 

"One, two, and three..." As "Madness" counted, the qualities went hiding. "Treason" hid in a pile of garbage... "Lie" said that it would hide under a stone, but hid at the bottom of the lake. And Madness continued to count"... seventy nine, eighty, eighty one..."

 

By this time, all the qualities were already hidden-except "Love". For stupid as "Love" is, he could not decide where to hide. And this should not surprise us, because we all know how difficult it is to hide "Love".

 

"Madness": "...ninety five, ninety six, ninety seven..." Just when "Madness" got to one hundred........."Love" jumped into a rose bush where he hid.

 

And Madness turned around and shouted: "I'm coming, I’m coming!" As Madness turned around, "Laziness" was the first to be found, because "Laziness" was too lazy to hide. "Madness" searched madly and found "Lie" at the bottom of the lake. One by one, Madness found them all except Love. Madness was getting desperate, unable to find Love.

 

Envious of Love, "Envy" whispered to "Madness" - "You only need to find Love, and Love is hiding in the rose bush."

 

"Madness" Jumped on the rose bush and he heard loud cry. The thorns in the bush had pierced "Loves" eyes.

 

Hearing the commotion God came into the room and saw what had happened. He got very angry and cursed "Madness" and said since "Love" has become blind because of you...You shall always be with him". And so it came about that from that day on...

 

Love is Blind and is always accompanied by Madness.

Believe in 6 Things - Positive Attitude Quote.

There is a place in the HEART
where THOUGHTS become WISHES
and WISHES become DREAMS.
It's a place where anything is possible
if we only BELIEVE.
There are 6 things to believe in
for a happy, successful life:
Believe in your FAITH...

Believe in your LOVE...
Believe in your GOALS...
Believe in your FAMILY...
Believe in your FRIENDS...

And most importantly,

Believe in YOURSELF!

If you believe in these 6 things

You can't go wrong.

Have a wonderful day!!

Funny Humor Joke...!!!

Why must we put on our pants one leg at a time?

 

If we jumped into our pants simultaneously placing both legs in at one time, we would land heavily on the ground. As a majority of us are getting dressed at the same time of the morning, the cumulative effect would Cause an earth tremor. Due to the use of time zones, the tremor established In Eastern Time would arrive in the central zone at precisely the moment all those people were jumping into their pants. The tremor would increase in size exponentially, and proceed west to combine with the mountain zone folks as they get dressed. As this cycle encircles the globe, it would feed upon the next day's Tremor and eventually cause the earth's crust to break apart and float into space. This is why we put our pants on one leg at a time.

Positive Attitude - Sharpening Our Skills from Time to Time is the Key to Success.

Once upon a time a very strong woodcutter asked for a job with a timber merchant, and he got it. His salary was really good and so were the working conditions. For that reason, the woodcutter was determined to do his best.

 

His boss gave him an axe and showed him the area where he was supposed to fell the trees. The first day, the woodcutter brought down 15 trees. "Congratulations," the boss said. "Carry on with your work!" Highly motivated by the words of his boss, the woodcutter tried harder the next day, but he only could bring 10 trees down. The third day he tried even harder, but he was only able to bring down 7 trees. Day after day he was bringing lesser number of trees down.

 

"I must be losing my strength", the woodcutter thought. He went to the boss and apologized, saying that he could not understand what was going on. "When was the last time you sharpened your axe?" the boss asked. "Sharpen? I had no time to sharpen my axe. I have been very busy trying to cut trees..."

 

That's right. Most of us NEVER update our skills. We think that whatever we have learned is very much enough. But good is not good when better is expected. Sharpening our skills from time to time is the key to success.

Funny Leave Letters by Various Companies...!!!

This is a collection of leave letters and applications written by people...

1. An employee applied for leave as follows:

Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife,
please sanction me one-week leave.

2. From an employee who was performing the "mundane" ceremony of his 10 year old son:

"as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."

3. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:

"as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."

4. From H.A.L. Administration dept:

"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."

5. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:

"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"

6. An incident of a leave letter

"I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday."

7. A leave letter to the headmaster:

"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"

8. Another leave letter written to the headmaster:

"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."

9. Covering note:

"I am enclosed herewith..."

10. Another one:

"Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..."

11. Actual letter written for application of leave:

"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".

12. Letter writing: -

"I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well."

13. A candidate's job application:

"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'... As I am both (!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post.

Tips for Attaining Success - Positive Living

When you're sure you're on the right road to attaining success you don't have to plan your journey too far ahead. Don't burden yourself with doubts and fears as to the obstacles that may bar your progress.

You don't need to know all your answers in advance. Just have a clear idea of the goal you want to reach. You can only take one step at a time.

Once you muster up the courage to begin, you'll find the courage to succeed. You'll get what you want if you go after it.

It's the job you never start that always takes the longest to finish.

Truly Peaceful Quote - Positive Attitude.

Your world cannot be at peace until you yourself are at peace.
Calm your worries and fears. Let go of your anger and resentment.
Look at each difficulty as an opportunity to strengthen your
ability to remain peaceful.

When your mind and your spirit are at peace, your thoughts and
actions are free to be strong, focused and effective.
You cannot force others to be truly peaceful.

You cannot shame them into it. Yet by your example you can draw
them into the power of your own peacefulness.

Peace will not come to you until there is peace that comes from you.
Living in peace does not mean giving in or giving up. Rather, it means
having the confidence to let go of your anxieties and insecurities,
so you can focus on your positive possibilities.

Decide to live this moment, this day, this life in peace. And though the
world around you may swirl with turmoil, you'll be moving positively
forward with others sure to follow.

Original Message Posted on Full Moon Paradise

Mentally Retarded Girls Taught This World...!!!

With the sound of Toy pistol, all eight girls started running.

Hardly have they covered ten to fifteen steps, one of the smaller girls

slipped and fell down, due to bruises and pain she started crying.

 

When other seven girls heard this sound, stopped running, stood for a while

and turned back, they all ran back to the place where the girl fell down.

 

One among them bent, picked and kissed the girl gently and enquired

'Now pain must have reduced'. All seven girls lifted the fallen girl,

pacified her, two of them held the girl firmly and they all seven joined hands

together and walked together and reached the winning post.

 

Officials were shocked. Clapping of thousands of spectators filled the stadium.

Many eyes were filled with tears and perhaps it had reached GOD even!

 

YES. This happened in Hyderabad [INDIA], recently!

The sport was conducted by National Institute of Mental Health.

 

All these special girls had come to participate in this event and they were

spastic children.

 

Yes, they were mentally retarded Challenged.

 

What did they teach this world?

 

Teamwork

Humanity

Equality among all

Successful people help others who are slow in learning so that they are not

felt far behind. This is really a great message... spread it!

 

We can't do this ever because we have brains......!!!!!!!!!

Really very Touching Life Story, Must Read It...!!!

Touching life story.....

A young man was getting ready to graduate college. For
many months he had admired a beautiful sports car in a
dealer's showroom, and knowing his father could well
afford it, he told him that was all he wanted.

As Graduation Day approached, the young man awaited
signs that his father had purchased the car. Finally,
on the morning of his graduation his father called him
into his private study. His father told him how proud
he was to have such a fine son, and told him how much
he loved him. He handed his son a beautiful wrapped gift box.
Curious, but somewhat disappointed the young man opened the box
and found a lovely, leather-bound Bible. Angrily, he raised his voice
at his father and said, "With all your money you give me a Bible?"
and stormed out of the house, leaving the holy book.

Many years passed and the young man was very successful in business.
He had a beautiful home and wonderful family, but realized his father
was very old, and thought perhaps he should go to him.
He had not seen him since that graduation day.
Before he could make arrangements, he received a telegram telling him his
father had passed away, and willed all of his possessions to his son.
He needed to come home immediately and take care things.
When he arrived at his father's house, sudden sadness and regret filled his heart.

He began to search his father's important papers and
saw the still new Bible, just as he had left it years ago.
With tears, he opened the Bible and began to turn the pages.
As he read those words, a car key dropped from an envelope
taped behind the Bible. It had a tag with the dealer's name,
the same dealer who had the sports car he had desired.
On the tag was the date of his graduation, and the words...PAID IN FULL.

**************************************************************************
How many times do we miss God's blessings because they are not packaged as we expected?
**************************************************************************

Who am I...?

Who am I?

I am your constant companion.
I am your greatest helper or your heaviest burden.
I will push you onward or drag you down to failure.
I am completely at your command.

Half the things you do, you might just as well turn over
to me, and I will be able to do them quickly and correctly.

I am easily managed; you must merely be firm with me.
Show me exactly how you want something done, and after a few
lessons I will do it automatically.

I am the servant of all great men.
And, alas, of all failures as well.
Those who are great, I have made great.
Those who are failures, I have made failures.

I am not a machine, though I work with all
the precision of a machine.
Plus, the intelligence of a man.

You may run me for profit, or run me for ruin;
it makes no difference to me.

Take me, train me, be firm with me and I will put
the world at your feet.

Be easy with me, and I will destroy you.

Who am I?

I am a HABIT!

--- Anonymous ---

Just for Today - Positive Attitude...!!!

• Smile at a stranger.
• Listen to someone's heart.
• Drop a coin where a child can find it.
• Learn something new, then teach it to someone else.
• Tell someone you are thinking of them.
• Hug a loved one.
• Don't hold a grudge.
• Don't be afraid to say "I"m sorry.
• Look a child in the eye and tell them how great they are.
• Don't kill that spider in your house, he's just lost, so show him the way out.
• Look beyond the face of a person into their heart.
• Make a promise, and keep it.
• Call someone, for no other reason than to just say "Hi".
• Show kindness to an animal.
• Stand up for what you believe in.
• Smell the rain, feel the breeze, listen to the wind, enjoy the sun.
• Use all your senses to their fullest.
• Cherish all your TODAYS...!!!
  
  Great advice for today, any day, and EVERYDAY.