Saturday, October 11, 2008

Losing My Fear of Having Enough

I commented how it's so easy for me to spend $1.50 on soda every day (or more!), but when I walk by homeless people, somehow I fear that if I start to give them money, I won't have enough.

Well today, somehow that fear was lifted. This was not planned, but I had put $3 in my pocket this morning for sodas (it's Friday after all :-) and never got to the place where I buy them. Then, as I was walking to the train, I saw a homeless man ahead and remembered that I had money I could give. So, I took out one of the dollar bills and gave it to him.

I continued walking and came across another one of the regulars who hangs around at the same time and gave him one of the dollars as well.

I have to say it felt good, but I realized that it was not just because I helped someone else. It was also because I let go of my hold on money: the fear that I wouldn't have enough. In giving them the money it made me realize how much the fear of not having enough kept me from helping others who definitely needed it more than me.

It's a difficult situation, because I do walk by these guys almost every day. I'm not sure what will happen the next time I come across them, but I still have one dollar left. And I know there's lots more where that came from, for me and for them :-)

- Author Unknown