Someone once shared with me this very simple yet profound discovery, "If I practice desire, I suffer." What could be simpler? This essential teaching arose from his own direct experience. (...)
You may have very sophisticated justifications as to why it is is perfectly okay to act on a desire -- this time, one more time, for the last time -- and in the middle of these justifications, you can stop. If you don't give yourself an exit, a kind of crucifixion occurs where an inner resolve arises and says, "Even if it kills me, I am not going to move in this moment." Not moving offers the possibility of discovering the peace of surrender, resurrection, redemption. With that discovery, the bondage of desire or addictive habit is naturally weakened. It is possible in this moment to totally cut the addiction; at the very least the link is weakened. Then the next time the impulse arises, you know you have a choice.
Even though you may know intellectually that it will lead you down the same old path, you may never have fully and consciously acknowledged your attachment to it. There is energy in that infatuation. The pure force of your desire may subject you to cellular shaking. Be willing to experience the whole of that force and not go numb or disassociate.
Acting out a desire takes some effort. It take imagining and thinking about what you want or what you have lost. It takes comparing the present moment with some idealized moment of the past or the future. It takes attempting to either grasp at something or to avoid something. It is a practice. Is it your practice?
What are you spending your lifetime practicing? If you are practicing desire, you are suffering. If you are suffering, see for yourself if you are practicing desire.
- by Gangaji from "The Diamond in Your Pocket"
