If you’re finding that you’re not currently living the type of life you’d really like, I’d encourage you to have a look at how you might be responsible for your situation.
There are three critical things that you can change immediately that will have a dramatic impact on your quality of life. And, if I’m to be completely honest, the vast majority of people I’ve met in my life are guilty of committing at least one these errors… yours truly included in that count.
So what are the three critical factors?
1. The first is BLAMING others for your situation:
“The government is responsible for the terrible economic conditions right now – it’s no wonder I can’t afford to buy a home!”
“My boss won’t give me the respect - or the promotion! - that I deserve.”
“That was so-and-so’s responsibility, and now I have to clean up their mess.”
Blah, blah, blah.
The more you blame other people, the more power you give away. How can YOU make your life better, if everyone else is to blame? The first step is to take 100% responsibility for your life. You are in control. You - and only you - have put yourself in the situation you currently find yourself in. Without a doubt, some of you are reading this and thinking, “Well it’s true! So-and-so did put me in this, or that situation. Who is this Paul Keetch anyway?
Well, go on and keep thinking that way then. But I guarantee this: if you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll keep getting the results you’ve always gotten.
2. The second critical mistake is JUSTIFYING your actions or attitudes:
When you justify you’re saying to yourself (along with anyone else silly enough to listen) that you are vindicated, that responsibility lies elsewhere. When you absolve yourself of responsibility for your situation, you are telling the Universe, “Someone else is in control here. I don’t have the power to control my life, and I don’t want it.”
Instead of justifying, try taking a good, hard look at the situation you’re absolving yourself from. Ask yourself, “How did I in some way participate in creating this situation?” Look for opportunities to learn from the past and you will be better equipped to deal with similar situations in the future.
3. The third and final critical error is COMPLAINING - and this is by far the most potent and damaging to your ability to live a happy and successful life:
When you complain, what are you focusing on? Of course, the answer is that you’re focusing on the negative aspect of whatever the situation is. Have you ever heard the idea that what you focus on expands? If you believe, like I do, that this is true, then when you focus on the negative, you’ll end up expanding the negative - the very thing you’re trying to avoid! Even the word avoid is hurtful to your ability to be happy. Instead of trying to avoid pain, try focusing on trying to find or enhance pleasure and the positive side of life.
So what’s the solution?
Try and go 24 hours - just one day - without blaming others, justifying your situation or actions, or complaining (about yourself or someone else) and see how you do. My guess is that you’ll find yourself making one of these critical mistakes - what I call happy killers - within the first hour.
That’s okay. Just start over. Every time you find yourself complaining, blaming or justifying just stop, be grateful that you’ve noticed this harmful behaviour, send out a cancel notice to the Universe, then reset the timer and start over again.
Do this, I guarantee that you’ll find yourself well on your way to living a more fruitful, productive and, most importantly, happy life.
- Paul Keetch
