Serve & not Work

One evening a scholar was addressing the participants on the concept of work culture. One of the participants asked the following question :

"I am a manager of Materials Department and I joined an organization 10 years ago as an Engineer Trainee and over the last 10 years I have gone through every experience in the organization. During the initial part of my career, the job was very challenging and interesting. But all those exciting days are gone since I do not find my joy any more interesting because there is nothing new in my job. I am now feeling bored because I am doing a routine job.

However, Sir, I was comparing my life to my mother's and mine should actually be more satisfying than hers but she seems more satisfied with her life than I am. I see that my mother has been doing the same boring job of looking after the family day in and day out, and that too with a smile on her face. She cooks, cleans, waits for everyone in the family, looks after our routine and though we rarely thank or appreciate her, doesn’t seem to get bored or tired.

The response from Scholar was very interesting and convincing. He asked the executive the question:

"Please tell me for whom does your Mother do all this?"

The executive replied that obviously the mother does all that she does for the family i.e. others.

Then the Scholar said, "Your mother 'Serves' others and because of this service mindedness, she does not feel tired or bored. But in an office, we 'Work' and not 'Serve'. Anything we consider, as service will not make us feel bored. That is difference between Serving and Working. Whenever you put a larger context around your work and see a broader meaning for your work, you will take interest in your work and it will make a very big difference in your internal energy." He asked the executive to consider his work as service and not merely a work.

Well. I know that life is more complicated than this simplistic story, but the point is clear. So, today lets 'Serve' and not 'Work'.

- Author Unknown

Be Thorough

There’s really no such thing as knowing too much about what you’re doing.

When I was in college, I spent my spare time reading about real estate and foreclosures. I didn’t feel it was a sacrifice of my time, because I was interested in real estate; I wasn’t studying just to pass a test. The knowledge I gained on my own led to my first successful investment. I couldn’t have achieved that if I hadn’t spent the time studying on my own.

In college, I also read something that Rudyard Kipling said, which I’ve never forgotten: “I keep six honest serving men, they taught me all I knew - their names are What and Why and When--and How and Where and Who.” Finding the answers to these questions will ensure that your information is comprehensive and correct.

An example of this was from The Apprentice, when my assistants and I interviewed candidates. Sometimes the process went on for hours - one boardroom meeting lasted for over five hours so we could make the most knowledgeable decision possible!

Staying informed is a daily task, and challenge, considering how quickly our world is moving. But not keeping up is like agreeing to check out - please don’t do that. Plug in and learn everything you can. You never know when information will come in handy. If I hadn’t studied real estate foreclosures as a student, I wouldn’t have been able to see the great opportunity that led to my first big success.

Resolve to move forward and to learn as much as you can - today and every day.

- Donald Trump

Courage and Inspiration

"So you think I'm courageous?" she asked. "Yes, I do." said he.

"Perhaps I am. But that's because I've had some inspiring teachers." And she told him about one of them.

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at Stanford Hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liza who was suffering from a rare and serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her five-year-old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes, I'll do it if it will save Liza."

As the transfusion progressed, he lay in a bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheeks. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away?"

Being young, the boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give her all his blood.

"Yes, I've learned courage," she added, "because I've had inspiring teachers."

We see courage and inspiration all around us - from the smallest and the most ordinary. Today, be that inspiration or be inspired…..

- Author Unknown

Today's Mantra

Today's Mantra comes in the form of a song by Baz Luhrmann. I love it. Hope you enjoy it and maybe adopt the philosophy too...

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99 , If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.

The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….and You’re not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing everyday that scares you.

Sing.

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children,maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky
chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own..

Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go,but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen....

- Author Unknown

Excellence

A man once visited a temple under construction where he saw a sculptor making an idol of God. Suddenly he noticed a similar idol lying nearby. Surprised, he asked the sculptor, "Do you need two statues of the same idol?" "No," said the sculptor without looking up, "We need only one, but the first one got damaged at the last stage."

The gentleman examined the idol and found no apparent damage. "Where is the damage?" he asked. "There is a scratch on the nose of the idol." said the sculptor, still busy with his work. "Where are you going to install the idol?" The sculptor replied that it would be installed on a pillar twenty feet high. "If the idol is that far, who is going to know that there is a scratch on the nose?" the gentleman asked.

The sculptor stopped his work, looked up at the gentleman, smiled and said, "I will know it."

The desire to excel is exclusive of the fact whether someone else appreciates it or not. “Excellence” is a drive from inside, not outside. Excel at a task today - not necessarily for someone else to notice but for your own satisfaction.

- Author Unknown

Eliminating Stress

You can’t lead a happy, healthy, and productive life when you are feeling crummy. You can’t work very well. You can’t be creative. And you can’t enjoy the company of others.

So why is it that so many people, so much of the time, are downright miserable?

Is it the existential situation - the psychological default program that kicks in when we realize we are alone? Is it the result of thinking we are alone when we are not? Is it what happens when we live without purpose, as Victor Frankl suggests? Or is it merely too much sugar?

Answer: All of the above.

But what do you care? You can’t avoid getting into a funk now and then. However, you can learn to recognize the onset of a bad mood and get yourself out of it before it ruins your day (or your life).

I should know. I’m a moody bastard. If I could gather up all the time I’ve spent fretting, frowning, grousing, and/or complaining, I’d have enough to become a medical doctor and start my own emergency clinic.


Grumping around is not only wasteful; it’s limiting and potentially destructive. When you feel bad, you lack the emotional strength to try new things or overcome obstacles. As a consequence, you tend to spend your time on very ordinary chores, the kinds of tasks that will ensure the same old ho-hum life.

I once read a book on optimism and pessimism that made the case that the difference between feeling sad and clinical depression is not one of kind but of degree. If this is true, two conjectures come immediately to mind:

1. That moodiness should be actively combated, because moodiness can lead to despair.
2. That despair is an extreme form of moodiness, and so some of the techniques that eliminate moodiness can cure clinical depression.

Versions of despair - cynicism, anger, and fear - have no place in your business or personal life. If you let them in, you will give up too easily - and that can cost you.

Bad feelings are usually triggered by stress - some external event that creates a feeling of emotional discomfort. To lead a psychologically comfortable life (free of unnecessary stress and open to happiness and other good things), you must learn to recognize stress in its early stages and do something to reduce it.

Avoiding a bad mood is much like avoiding a common headache: If you can feel it coming on early enough and get some aspirin into your system, you’ll never be in pain. But if you wait till the pain is planted in your head, you’ll have a very difficult time getting rid of it.

One way to deal with stress is to get rid of the external cause of it. If, for example, a new client is a royal pain, figure out how to deal with him or pass him off to a competitor. If a new set of regulations is making your routine work difficult, master them and they’ll cease to give you stress.

Another, sometimes more practical, way to defeat stress is to change the way you react to it. As Victor Frankl pointed out in his classic book "Man's Search for Meaning", it is impossible to control the external circumstances of our lives. We must accept what comes to us with equanimity. But we do not have to accept the way we respond.

Frankl argues that if you see a purpose in your role in life, you’ll have a much easier time avoiding the stress of not knowing what to do. Two thousand years ago, Marcus Aurelius said, "If you are distressed by anything internal, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to the view you have of that thing. How you view anything is a power you can revoke at any moment."

Here are 12 ways to deal with problems without getting stressed over them:

1. Forgive yourself for feeling bad. Depending on your biology, your upbringing, and your circumstances, you may feel blue rarely, sometimes, or often. Accept it as normal.

2. Count your blessings.

3. Take a nap. You’d be surprised by how often you can make yourself feel better simply by taking a 10-minute catnap.

4. Take a stress break. If you work as hard as I do, you will be forever on the verge of a nervous breakdown unless you do something about it. One of the best things you can do is schedule at least two (and preferably three or four) stress breaks every working day.

 A stress break is not a stress break unless:
 You get at least 10 feet away from your desk.
 You are completely distracted by it.
 It lasts at least five minutes.
 It relaxes you.
 It energizes you.

If you have good control over your daily schedule, you can plan stress breaks between tasks. Ideally, you’ll want a five-minute break every 90 to 120 minutes. If your schedule is too frenetic or unpredictable to do it that way, use an egg timer and simply break away from whatever you are doing when it rings.

5. Cut out the crap food. Remember, sugar and starch are poisons. Be aware of how they affect your moods.

6. Spend as much time as you can with upbeat people. Moody people are often helpful, productive, inspiring, and useful. But they are always an emotional drag. If your life involves moody energy-sappers, refresh with positive friends.

7. Follow Dale Carnegie’s Three C’s: Don’t criticize. Don’t condemn. Don’t complain.

8. Make sure you are getting enough sleep. If you are not sleeping well, chances are you are irritable and somewhat unproductive. This is a vicious circle. Get out of it. Get some sleep.

This will not only keep your stress level in check but will also improve your overall health. And remember this: The sleep you get before midnight is twice as good as the sleep you get afterward. So go to bed early. In fact, your entire health-and-fitness program should be based on the "early to rise" concept. Get to bed early enough so that you can wake up refreshed and stress free, eat properly, get your cardio workout done, and get to work at least an hour before you have to. (Two hours earlier is better.)

9. Exercise. Intense exercise will tire you out, but it won’t reduce stress. Walking, biking at a medium pace, swimming slowly - these are the sorts of exercise that can reduce stress.

10. Play. Again, be cognizant of what forms of play reduce stress and which add to it. Golfing is mostly, from what I’ve seen, a stress producer. So are most competitive sports. Yes, they’re fun if you have a competitive nature. But they don’t reduce stress.

11. Work to improve things. If you are bummed out about problems at work, do this: Compose a list of your five most pressing incomplete jobs. Then break down each job into specific tasks that can be accomplished in an hour or less. Arrange those tasks in order of priority. Finally, choose one. Just one. Put everything else out of your mind and get to work on it. Immediately. No excuses.

12. Listen to classical music. Researchers have discovered many interesting things about the effects of classical music - especially Mozart’s - on the brain. For example:

 In 1996, the College Entrance Exam Board Service conducted a study of all students taking their SATs. Students who sang or played a musical instrument scored an average of 51 points higher on the verbal portion and 39 points higher on the math portion of the test.
 In a controlled University of California study, students who listened to 10 minutes of Mozart before taking SATs had higher scores than students who didn’t.
 Major corporations like Shell, IBM, and Dupont, along with hundreds of schools and universities, have started using classical music to cut learning time in half and increase the retention of newly learned material.
 And in a University of Washington study, people who listened to light classical music for 90 minutes while copyediting a manuscript caught 21% more mistakes.

Even if you rarely listen to classical music, give it a try. "The Mozart Effect" will help you on some level by having a positive, lifelong effect on your health, learning, and behavior.

- By Michael Masterson

Special Poem on Friendship

If you're lonely,
And need a friend,
And troubles seem like
They never end,
Just remember to keep the Faith,
And Love will be there to Light the Way.

Anytime you need a friend,
I will be here.
You'll never be alone again,
So don't you fear.
Even if you're miles away,
I'm by your side.
So don't you ever be lonely.
Love will make it alright.

When the shadows are closing in,
And your Spirit diminishing,
Just remember you're not alone,
And Love will be there,
To Guide you Home.

- Vijaydeep Sharma -

Love & Life

My husband is S/W Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders.

Two years of courtship and now, five years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.

I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings. I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband is my complete opposite; his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about LOVE.

One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.


"Why? " he asked, shocked.

"I am tired. There are no reasons for everything in the world !" I answered.

He kept silent the whole night, seemingly in deep thought. My feeling of disappointment only increased. Here was a man who was not able to even express his predicament, so what else could I expect from him?

And finally he asked me: "What can I do to change your mind?"

Somebody said it right... It's hard to change a person's personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him.

Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered: "Here is the question. If you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind.

Let's say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death. Will you do it for me?"

He said: " I will give you your answer tomorrow...." My hopes just sank by listening to his response.

I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes....

My dear, "I would not pick that flower for you, but....please allow me to explain the reasons further.....

This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading.

"When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen. I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs.


You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you.

You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city. I have to save my eyes to show you the way.

You always have the cramps whenever your "good friend" approaches every month. I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy.

You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom.

You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes. I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand...and tell you the colour of flowers, just like the colour of the glow on your young face...

Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do... I could not pick that flower yet, and die ... "

My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting. .. And as I continue on reading... "Now, that you have finished reading my answer, and if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk...

I rushed to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread....Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone...

That's LIFE, and LOVE. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.

Love shows up in all forms; even in very small and cheeky forms. It has never been a model. It could be the dullest and most boring form ...

Flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands... AND THAT'S LIFE

Moral :
1. Most of the time we do not appreciate people around us, they may not good in expressing their feelings but it doesn't mean that they don't love you.
2. If they aren't good at expressing love, then why don't we take the first step to show some love???

- Author Unknown

Attitude Versus Aptitude

Overcome A Major Fear :

A major source of stress in your life is the "fear of rejection" or "fear of criticism." This fear of rejection manifests itself in an over-concern for the approval or disapproval of your boss or other people. The fear of rejection is often learned in early childhood as the result of a parent giving the child what psychologists call "conditional love."

Rise Above the Need For Approval :

Many parents made the mistake of giving love and approval to their children only when their children did something that they wanted them to do. A child who has grown up with this kind of conditional love tends to seek for unconditional approval from others all his or her life. When the child becomes an adult, this need for approval from the parent is transferred to the workplace and onto the boss. The adult employee can then become preoccupied with the opinion of the boss. This preoccupation can lead to an obsession to perform to some undetermined high standard.

Avoid Type A Behavior :

Doctors Rosenman and Friedman, two San Francisco heart specialists, have defined this obsession for performance as "Type A behavior." Experts have concluded that approximately 60% of men and as many as 30% of women are people with Type A behavior.

Don't Burn Yourself Out :

This Type A behavior can vary from mild forms to extreme cases. People who are what they call "true Type A's" usually put so much pressure on themselves to perform in order to please their bosses that they burn themselves out. They often die of heart attacks before the age of 55. This Type A behavior, triggered by conditional love in childhood, is a very serious stress-related phenomenon in the American workplace.

Action Exercises :

Here are two things you can do immediately to deal with the fear of rejection, criticism and disapproval.

1. Realize and accept that the opinions of others are not important enough for you to feel stressed, unhappy or over concerned about them. Even if they dislike you entirely, it has nothing to do with your own personal worth and value as a person.

2. Refuse to be over concerned about what you think people are thinking about you. The fact is that most people are not thinking about you at all. Relax and get on with your life.

- By: Brian Tracy

Inspiring Story - Never Too Late

The morning dawned sunny and warm; it was a perfect day for a wedding. All of the preparations had gone smoothly. My shining moment was near. My maid of honor had just begun her walk down the aisle, stepping in perfect time to the music. There I stood in a beautiful satin wedding gown my mother had so lovingly made for me. It was my turn. My heart filled with joy and anticipation as I stood ready to walk down the aisle toward my new life. Then I saw my father, Ralph, stagger drunkenly toward me. I was sickened by the smell of alcohol on his breath. He nearly fell as he hooked his arm through mine. Within seconds, the "Wedding March" started playing - it was time to go.

So I did the same thing I had done so many times before - I faked it - just to keep up appearances. I glued on my best smile, mustered all my strength to hold my dad upright and then walked him down the aisle. Only when my dad was safely seated, and I stood at the altar holding my fiance's hand, could I concentrate on the ceremony. For me, the most important part of my wedding had been ruined. I was angry, embarrassed and extremely hurt. I decided that day to never forgive my father.

My dad had been an alcoholic since I was a little girl. His drinking just snuck up on our family - starting quietly, but getting slowly worse each year.

The escalating problem became very real for me one beautiful October day in 1963 when I was eight years old. I sat on the back step of our home breathing in the fragrance of the autumn leaves and admiring the perfect blue sky. Then I saw my dad begin to load all of his belongings in the car. I looked up at him in disbelief and asked, "Daddy, where are you going?" With tears in his eyes, he answered, "I'm taking a job downtown and need to live there for a while. But I'll be back soon."

I held out a child's hope that he would return home one day. But his out-of-control drinking led to a divorce. He never moved back. After that, I spent virtually every Saturday with my dad - all the way through my teen years. I wish I could say that those were happy days, but frequently they were spent waiting in the car while my dad went into the tavern to "make a few phone calls." My resentment toward him grew and continued to increase until that fateful wedding day.

My resolve never to forgive my father lasted for more than three years after my wedding. Then, something happened. On his seventy-first birthday, my dad visited a doctor to have a complete physical. Shocked at my dad's condition, the doctor told him, "Ralph, unless you quit drinking right now, you won't be alive to give your daughter away at her wedding." My sister's wedding was just six months from then.

Those words scared my father, so he checked himself into a thirty-day, inpatient alcoholic treatment center. Relieved he was finally getting the help he needed, my sister and brothers and I rallied around my dad to give him support. We attended family counseling sessions to learn more about the disease. Although I was supporting his attempt to get sober, I still felt a lot of anger toward him and was unable to forgive him for past hurts.

One day the physicians and counselors met with us and said, "Do not expect a miracle. Your dad is retired, lives alone and has been drinking for over forty years. He will relapse." So we didn't get our hopes up, but we did continue to pray for a miracle.

Then, one day, the miraculous happened. Dad called me and asked if he could meet with me. When we got together, the first thing he said was, "I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused you and the rest of the family. I know I don't have a lot of years left on this earth, but I want to live them sober." Dad took my hand, looked me in the eyes and asked, "Will you say the Lord's Prayer with me?" Crying together, we held hands and prayed. As I recited the words of the prayer, I could feel the anger and hurt begin to melt away.

The healing had begun. From that day on, Dad never took another drink. He read the Bible daily, joined Alcoholics Anonymous and became involved in a church. He frequently quoted scriptures to me and claimed only one thing was standing between him and alcohol: "Jesus." My own faith grew with each day of my dad's recovery. As my faith strengthened, my ability to forgive strengthened and I was finally able to let go of the past.

Dad remained sober for the next fourteen years and the miracle continued. At age seventy-two he founded an alumni association for recovering alcoholics and typed an inspirational newsletter on an old typewriter, then mailed it out monthly to nearly 100 people.

At age seventy-three, my dad helped organize an annual hospital event where hundreds of recovering alcoholics and their families gathered to celebrate their sobriety.

At seventy-six he became a proud Red-Coat volunteer at a local hospital, delivering newspapers, flowers and encouragement to patients, and pushing the wheelchairs of new mothers holding new babies who were going home. Dad volunteered there until he was seventy-nine, when he became ill with prostate cancer and moved into a nursing home.

Instead of moping about his situation, however, he appointed himself "the ambassador" for the home. My father took newcomers under his wing, giving them tours of the place and showing them humor in every corner. On holidays, he occasionally called to say, "I'm going to be a little late today because some people here have no visitors - and I'm not leaving anyone alone on Christmas."

When my father died at eighty-five, my brothers, sister and I expected only a few people at his funeral, but over 100 people came. Most were strangers to us, yet one by one, they shared their memories of my dad.

"Your dad is the reason my dad is sober today."
"Your dad is the reason my mom survived living in that nursing home."
"Your father is the glue that held our family together during our dad's drinking crisis."

Then seven men - all wearing red coats - quietly walked in to pay tribute to Dad for inspiring them to volunteer at the hospital. Many of them were over eighty years old.

Had I not removed the blinders of anger and resentment - had I not forgiven my dad - I'd never have witnessed the positive ways he had touched the world. I know now that it's never too late to forgive.

- By Debra Schmidt

Leadership Skills Training

5 Irrefutable, Non-Negotiable Laws of Leadership
- By Kevin Berchelmann

Leaders, new and old, sometimes lose sight of the most fundamental tenets of leadership. Here's a reminder…

I frequently tell executives that leadership and its concepts, theories and core applications haven't changed in a millennium.

Some of our demographics may have changed. This forces us to use alternative applications of those concepts. But the basic leadership concepts and theories remain.

So, why don't we "just do it?"

Sometimes we aren't motivated. Sometimes the "time" just doesn't seem right. Maybe we simply forgot some of the basics… hence this article.

When I train companies and corporations worldwide on how to improve management and organization performance, I start off with these 5 laws new and experienced leaders should never ever forget.

Kevin's Leadership Skills Training Survival Kit for New & Experienced Managers

Leadership Law #1: Never delay a decision that must be made.

Make your decision and move on. You may have to immediately make another decision. This doesn't mean your first one was wrong. It merely means that your second one had the benefit of additional knowledge.

Leadership Law #2: When you want something specific done, say so specifically, using clear, plain language.

Employees generally have some difficulty doing their basic jobs. By adding "mind-reading" to their description is just plain unfair.

Do not use hints, implications, or innuendos. Say what you want, and use plain English! Directness counts.

Leadership Law #3: Never answer every employee's every question.

Questions are teaching moments -- don't rob employees of the opportunity. But don't spend your whole time answering questions.

When you always answer every employee's every question, you'll forever be answering your employee's every question. This will leave you with no time to spend on areas that need your direct attention now.

Sounds trite, and I don't mean it to.

If employees are asking because they're stupid, get rid of them. If they are decent employees asking because they do not know, then teach them. They'll know next time, and you'll both be better for it.

Leadership Law #4: Make your expectations clear, then back up a bit and give employees room to do their job.

That doesn't mean to never look back. To inspect what you expect isn't micromanagement. It's good management.

Even your top performers need clear expectations. Give them a target. Provide resources and guidance. Remove obstacles when necessary. Then let them do their job. But, don't forget to check back later, since you still have management responsibilities.

Leadership Law #5: Employees need their managers to be leaders

Your employees don't need a shoulder. They don't need a buddy, a sympatico, or a commiserator. If you want a friend, buy a dog.

We all struggle with this. Everyone wants to be liked, and it always seems difficult to decline a beer after work, or something similar. I'm not advocating a monk-like existence, disallowing any contact with your troops. I'm just merely reminding you that they would like to have a friend, but they need a leader if they are to be successful.

You do want them to be successful, don't you?

Closing Leadership Thoughts :

These leadership laws are fairly intuitive, and certainly not rocket science or brain surgery. They are simple management and leadership truths that have passed the test of time.

Print these out. Laminate it. Put in your top desk drawer and don't forget them.