Power of Positive Talk

I remember my dad teaching me the power of language at a very young age. Not only did my dad understand that specific words affect our mental pictures, but he understood words are a powerful programming factor in lifelong success.

One particularly interesting event occurred when I was eight. As a kid, I was always climbing trees, poles, and literally hanging around upside down from the rafters of our lake house. So, it came to no surprise for my dad to find me at the top of a 30-foot tree swinging back and forth. My little eight-year-old brain didn't realize the tree could break or I could get hurt. I just thought it was fun to be up so high.

My older cousin, Tammy, was also in the same tree. She was hanging on the first big limb, about ten feet below me. Tammy's mother also noticed us at the exact time my dad did. About that time a huge gust of wind came over the tree. I could hear the leaves start to rattle and the tree begin to sway. I remember my dad's voice over the wind yell, "Bart, Hold on tightly." So I did. The next thing I know, I heard Tammy screaming at the top of her lungs, laying flat on the ground. She had fallen out of the tree.

I scampered down the tree to safety. My dad later told me why she fell and I did not. Apparently, when Tammy's mother felt the gust of wind, she yelled out, "Tammy, don't fall!" And Tammy did… fall.

My dad then explained to me that the mind has a very difficult time processing a negative image. In fact, people who rely on internal pictures cannot see a negative at all. In order for Tammy to process the command of not falling, her nine-year-old brain had to first imagine falling, then try to tell the brain not to do what it just imagined. Whereas, my eight-year-old brain instantly had an internal image of me hanging on tightly.

This concept is especially useful when you are attempting to break a habit or set a goal. You can't visualize not doing something. The only way to properly visualize not doing something is to actually find a word for what you want to do and visualize that. For example, when I was thirteen years old, I played for my junior high school football team. I tried so hard to be good, but I just couldn't get it together at that age. I remember hearing the words run through my head as I was running out for a pass, "Don't drop it!" Naturally, I dropped the ball.

My coaches were not skilled enough to teach us proper "self-talk." They just thought some kids could catch and others couldn't. I will never make it pro, but I am now a pretty goodSunday afternoon football player, because all my internal dialogue is positive and encourages me to win. I wish my dad had coached me playing football instead of just climbing trees. I might have had a longer football career.

Here is a very easy demonstration to teach your kids and your friends the power of a toxic vocabulary. Ask them to hold a pen or pencil. Hand it to them. Now, follow my instructions carefully. Say to them, "Okay, try to drop the pencil." Observe what they do.

Most people release their hands and watch the pencil hit the floor. You respond, "You weren't paying attention. I said TRY to drop the pencil. Now please do it again." Most people then pick up the pencil and pretend to be in excruciating pain while their hand tries but fails to drop the pencil.

The point is made.

If you tell your brain you will "give it a try," you are actually telling your brain to fail. I have a "no try" rule in my house and with everyone I interact with. Either people will do it or they won't. Either they will be at the party or they won't. I am brutal when people attempt to lie to me by using the word try. Do they think I don't know they are really telegraphing to the world they have no intention of doing it but they want me to give them brownie points for pretended effort? You will never hear the words "I'll try" come out of my mouth unless I'm teaching this concept in a seminar.

If you `try' and do something, your unconscious mind has permission not to succeed. If I truly can't make a decision I will tell the truth. "Sorry John. I'm not sure if I will be at your party or not. I have got an outstanding commitment. If that falls through, I will be here. Otherwise, I will not. Thanks for the invite."

People respect honesty. So remove the word `try' from your vocabulary.

My dad also told me that psychologists claim it takes seventeen positive statements to offset one negative statement. I have no idea if it is true, but the logic holds true. It might take up to seventeen compliments to offset the emotional damage of one harsh criticism.

These are concepts that are especially useful when raising children.

Ask yourself how many compliments you give yourself daily versus how many criticisms. Heck, I know you are talking to yourself all day long. We all have internal voices that give us direction.

So, are you giving yourself the 17:1 ratio or are you shortchanging yourself with toxic self-talk like, "I am fat. Nobody will like me. I will try this diet. I am not good enough. I am so stupid. I am broke, etc. etc."

If our parents can set a lifetime of programming with one wrong statement, imagine the kind of programming you are doing on a daily basis with your own internal dialogue. Here is a list of Toxic Vocabulary words.

Notice when you or other people use them

But: Negates any words that are stated before it

Try: Presupposes failure

If: Presupposes that you may not

Might: It does nothing definite. It leaves options for your listener

Would have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen

Should have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen (and implies guilt)

Could have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn't actually happen but the person tries to take credit as if it did happen

Can't / Don't: These words force the listener to focus on exactly the opposite of what you want. This is a classic mistake that parents and coaches make without knowing the damage of this linguistic error.


Examples:

Toxic phrase: "Don't drop the ball!"

Likely result: Drops the ball

Better language: "Catch the ball!"

Toxic phrase: "You shouldn't watch so much television."

Likely result: Watches more television.

Better language: "I read too much television makes people stupid. You might find yourself turning that TV off and picking up one of those books more often!"

Exercise: Take a moment to write down all the phrases you use on a daily basis or any Toxic self-talk that you have noticed yourself using. Write these phrases down so you will begin to catch yourself as they occur and change them.

- Author Unknown

Crosswalk

As I slowly pulled myself into work this morning, I was overwhelmed with exhaustion; with full speed stress headed my way. Anticipating the "mind over matter" feeling I needed, my eyes not wanting to open my "inbox" to start the day, I remembered the crosswalk.

I was on my way to work a couple weeks ago, frustrated at how late traffic was making me, annoyed at my bad hair day. It was already scorching hot, humid and NO wind. I just wanted to stay in bed and sleep. While being frustrated and annoyed and just plain angry at the day, I was held at a stop light for what seemed like forever.

I glanced over to my left and saw a woman probably in her mid twenties, waiting for the crosswalk sign to allow her to cross. She was dressed in bright colors, gorgeous shoes, with a purse at her side and a glowing smile! Along with these striking things, she also had her dog along for the stroll.

A joyful golden retriever, hopping along on the leash, excited for the day and to be outside with his owner. He just couldn't sit still with how much energy he had. So the woman petted him with her hand, and was talking to him with so much expression, and love - they were so happy! It made me smile underneath my gloomy bad mood.

One detail not mentioned; the woman dressed in bright colors, gorgeous shoes, purse and a glowing smile, with her pal at her side was handicap, in an electric wheel chair, which she could only operate with her right hand. As the crosswalk sign changed, and she pushed the black knob forward to operate her wheelchair across the street, her dog followed happily beside her as the leash was tied to the arm of her chair.

A tear filled my eye, and I smiled! Someone else's situation can kick your mind into gear and remind us what to be thankful for! I have no doubt this woman and her dog were put there for a reason, so I would wake up, and enjoy my day no matter what my hair looked like, no matter what traffic I was stuck in, and no matter what my day had in store for me!

I greatly appreciate this woman and her golden retriever, for teaching me a wonderful lesson! Pay attention to the smallest moments, they will teach the most!

- By Amy Sandlin

Personal Discipline

Personal discipline, when it becomes a way of life in our personal, family, and career lives, will enable us to do some incredible things. One of my favorite sayings is "When you discipline yourself to do the things you need to do when you need to do them, the day will come when you can do the things you want to do when you want to do them."

We need to understand the difference between discipline and punishment. Punishment is what you do to someone; discipline is what you do for someone. My friend and mentor Fred Smith points out that some people are very disciplined in one phase of their life and not in another. Pavarotti, for example, was a perfectionist in his music and yet totally unregulated in his eating habits. Elvis Presley's life points out the discrepancy between his discipline in his personal life and his creative life. Many noticed that he would sit at the piano, working for hours on his phrasing, going over and over it until it was exactly right. He was totally disciplined about his singing. Even some geniuses such as Ernest Hemingway, who lived a very dissolute and destructive life, said, "Every morning at eight o'clock I bite the nail."

Fred Smith goes on to say there are people with superior talent who will not submit to discipline and so are not known or recognized for their abilities. He met a young man who in high school could run so fast that he would run through the curves on the track. Coaches saw that he had world class speed and expected him to be an Olympian. He refused discipline, wanting to take the easy way of simply using his natural speed. He even lost his college scholarship. Laziness was his enemy.

Discipline is building good habits into reflexes which become part of our life. It's absolutely true that unless you can instill discipline upon yourself, you will never be able to lead others. Example is still the best teacher. As Fred says, "Discipline is building good habits into reflexes which become part of our life," and to this I would add that when it becomes a habit you will be able to control your impulses in each area of life and succeed in a balanced way.

- by Zig Ziglar

Clarity

A young couple moves into a new neighborhood. The next morning, while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hang the wash outside. That laundry is not very clean, she said, she doesn't know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap.

Her husband looked on, but remained silent. Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, the young woman would make the same comments.

About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband: "Look! She has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this."

The husband said: "No actually, I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows!"

And so it is with life: What we see when watching others depends on the clarity of the window through which we look.

- Author Unknown

The Perfect Boss . . .

There were about 70 scientists working on a very hectic project. All of them were really frustrated due to the pressure of work and the demands of their boss but everyone was loyal to him and did not think of quitting the job.

One day, one scientist came to his boss and told him - Sir, I have promised to my children that I will take them to the exhibition going on in our township. So I want to leave the office at 5 30 pm.

His boss replied "OK, You're permitted to leave the office early today"

The Scientist started working. He continued his work after lunch. As usual he got involved to such an extent that he looked at his watch when he felt he was close to completion.The time was 8.30 PM. Suddenly he remembered of the promise he had given to his children.

He looked for his boss,,He was not there. Having told him in the morning itself, he closed everything and left for home.

Deep within himself, he was feeling guilty for having disappointed his children.He reached home. Children were not there.His wife alone was sitting in the hall and reading magazines.

The situation was explosive, any talk would boomerang on him. His wife asked him "Would you like to have coffee or shall I straight away serve dinner if you are hungry.

The man replied "If you would like to have coffee, I too will have but what about Children ??"

Wife replied "You don't know ?? Your manager came here at 5.15 PM and has taken the children to the exhibition "

What had really happened was ... The boss who granted him permission was observing him working seriously at 5.00 PM. He thought to himself, this person will not leave the work, but if he has promised his children they should enjoy the visit to exhibition.

So he took the lead in taking them to exhibition

The boss does not have to do it everytime. But once it is done, loyalty is established.

That is why all the scientists at Thumba continued to work under their boss eventhough the stress was tremendous.

By the way , can you hazard a guess as to who the boss was..?

He was none other than Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam, President of India . . .

- Author Unknown

Life Is A Bright Sky

Life is like a bright sky;
and clouds represent instances of unhappy times.

Sometimes the clouds are so dark;
It's hard to remember the sun still shines.

Be patient. The light will return.
It's just waiting for an opportunity to peek through.

- Unknown

Don't Change the World . . .

Once upon a time, there was a king who ruled a prosperous country. One day, he went for a trip to some distant areas of his country. When he was back to his palace, he complained that his feet were very painful, because it was the first time that he went for such a long trip, and the road that he went through was very rough and stony.

He then ordered his people to cover every road of the entire country with leather. Definitely, this would need thousands of cows' skin, and would cost a huge amount of money.

Then one of his wise servant dared himself to tell the king, "Why do you have to spend that unnecessary amount of money ? Why don't you just cut a little piece of leather to cover your feet ?"

The king was surprised, but he later agreed to his suggestion, to make a "shoe" for himself.

There is actually a valuable lesson of life in this story :

To make this world a happy place to live, you better change yourself - your heart; and not the world . . .

- Author Unknown

Inspiring Story - Voice in the Night

When I was nineteen years old, my friend Hanneke Boogaard was studying to become a nurse at Beatrix Hospital in The Netherlands. There, nursing students work during their study, the same as regular personnel. During her work on the night shift, Hanneke was strangely drawn to one patient in particular, a forty-year-old woman in a coma. Because Mrs. Groensma never had visitors, Hanneke remained at her bedside longer than the others. At first she tried not to admit it, since for her all patients should mean the same. But this woman fascinated her.

When Hanneke heard the patient had no living relatives, she spent even more time with her. She’d learned that people in comas could sometimes hear when they were spoken to. This woman had no one to do that for her, so Hanneke talked softly to her every night. Since she didn’t know her, she didn’t know what to talk about, so she told Mrs. Groensma all about herself. She explained how her parents had died in a car crash when she was young. For hours she shared her many memories of them. That’s all she had to cling to now. How she wished she had a specific personal item to remember them by - - the golden four-leaf-clover locket her mother always wore. It was lost during the accident and never found, even though relatives searched the crash site and nearby ditch. Night after night, she talked and talked and grew more and more attached to Mrs. Groensma.

She would likely never come out of the coma, and she had no one in the world to care for her. Therefore, the time came for her to be transferred to a nursing home where she would eventually die. When Hanneke objected, she was heavily reprimanded for losing touch with her professional attitude and forbidden to contact the patient in the nursing home. Hanneke saw the logic of her supervisors but could not help thinking about Mrs. Groensma often.
Time went by, and Hanneke became a nurse and found a job in the Beatrix Hospital. One day at work, she was instructing a patient when a lady who was questioning another nurse turned and deliberately walked towards her. It was Mrs. Groensma! They found an empty room where they could speak privately, and Mrs. Groensma explained what she was doing there.

She recalled having been in a dark and lonely place, all alone, until the voice of what she thought must have been an angel started speaking, drawing her attention. Later when that voice stopped talking to her, she longed for the sound so much that she started struggling to get to the place where the voice had come from. She came out of the coma and took a long time to recover. Meanwhile she had questioned the nursing home staff. They eventually told her they had instructions to keep away a certain nurse who had made the mistake of getting too attached to her.

As soon as Mrs. Groensma was able, she came to the hospital to find that nurse. When she heard Hanneke talk to the patient, she recognized the voice that had spoken to her during her coma.

Mrs. Groensma took Hanneke’s hand. “I have something I want to give you to thank you. I found it fifteen years ago in a ditch and originally wanted to put pictures of my late husband and me in it and give it to my daughter. When she died, I was all alone and wanted to throw it away, but I never got around to it. I now want you to have it.”

Mrs. Groensma handed Hanneke a small box. Inside, sparkling in the sunlight, lay a golden four-leaf-clover locket. With a pounding heart, Hanneke opened it to see her parents’ photos.

Hanneke now wears the locket day and night and visits Mrs. Groensma whenever she wants.

And they talk and talk and grow more and more attached.

- From Chicken Soup for the Soul: Woman to Woman
Carin Klabbers

The Focused Resolution

Do you cringe when you think of making new year’s resolutions? Each year many of us plan big changes for ourselves. We finish up the year in a flurry of holiday excitement and stress, then begin to plan to start our new year off on the right foot! No more of the same old! So, we diligently set resolutions. We resolve to eat better, exercise, stop smoking, spend more time with our families or even get a new job. Whatever it may be, we have the best of intentions and we are determined to accomplish it this time. Why then, do nearly all of our resolutions fail?

If it is so impossible as it seems, should we simply give up making resolutions? Just label them as a lost cause and forget it? Absolutely not! If you are aspiring to make positive changes in your life, I am here to tell you that it is completely possible! You may be wondering how, since the mortality rate of resolutions is so high. Well, let’s find out, shall we?

First of all, everyone seems to get hung up on the thought that you have to implement changes on January first, or maybe the second. Why is that? Because it’s the start of the new year? Sure, it’s a nice neat starting point, but so is any other day of the year. Let’s look at it this way. The new year starts, you start with enthusiasm toward your resolved big changes, and you fail to meet expectations. Now you are at the end of January, the middle of February, where ever, and that’s it. The start of the year is gone, you’ve had your chance and failed. What’s wrong with starting again? Is there an unwritten rule that I am not aware of that says all big changes must be implemented at the start of a new year or not at all? You can choose to make changes at any time of the year. The first of the year is good, but so is any other day of the year.

The best time to implement any big change is when you are in a good frame of mind to do it. Notice that I said “good” and not perfect. There will never be a time when it is “perfect”. You can wait for your finances to become extraordinary, for the planets to align, or for an amazing diet pill to come out to make losing weight a sure fire thing, but chances are, it’s not going to happen. So let’s aim for “good”. If you aim for that, then you will be giving yourself a strong start, no matter what day of the year it is.

Secondly, and most importantly, and this is truly the key to success…Process, process, process! This is where the power lies! It lies in the mindfulness of each step along the way to your ultimate goal. When you focus on where you are at this moment, on that process and the process alone, you are handing yourself the keys to success! Many people spend so much time all wrapped up and tangled in their goal, that they forget about the process.

Let’s say for example that your “goal” is reaching the top of a high mountain. What is the best way to reach that mountain top? How can you be standing up there and gasping at the amazing views and scenery from that vista? Let’s first imagine that you are focused strongly on your goal. You are committed to reaching that mountain top, and you don’t take your eyes off the goal for a second, you are just so focused on it. Now, because you are so determined and so focused on the ultimate goal of reaching that wonderfully high bit it earth, what do you think will happen along the way? You can see the goal so clearly and you have every intention of getting there, but you, my friend, are going to stumble and struggle, you may even fall. How can this be? You are committed, determined and totally focused on reaching that goal. How can getting there be such a problem?

The problem lies in the focus. Not a lack of focus but on what you have focused on. When aiming for a goal, many people forget to focus on the process. Being committed to a goal and focused on the outcome is all fine and noble. However, if you truly want to reach that mountain top, your focus needs to shift. You need to let go of the goal for the moment (believe me, that mountain top isn’t going anywhere! Neither is any other goal you set your sights on), just let it be for now. Take a deep breath, and turn your focus to the process. Turn your awareness to the steps. Bring your focus back to you and where you are on the way to that goal. What do you need to be doing to reach that goal, right at this moment? That’s where you need to put your focus and energy, simple as that. Too easy., huh? Simplicity is an amazing gift.

Now, let’s revisit the mountain top again. Take a good look at it. See where you have to go. Look at the ground you have to cover to get there. Become aware of it, but don’t get attached to it. Make sure it is clear. Ok, now let it go. Turn your thoughts to what you need to do to get there. Look at where you are and watch exactly what you are doing to move forward up that mountain. Where do you have to put your feet, your hands? Choose the position carefully, and start moving up the mountain.

Now just keep your focus there, where ever on that climb you happen to be. At the bottom of the mountain, just starting off? Midway up? It’s all good. Don’t look up, and don’t look down! Just focus right where you are. Every little step you take is just as important as the goal, maybe even more important because without all those little steps, you won’t reach that goal, so pay them a lot of attention. Give them your energy and your faith. The more focused and committed to each step you are-the sooner you will reach that goal.

Now, you’ve been mindful in each little step of your climb up the mountain, you’ve stayed focused on where you were in each moment and not worried about the final outcome. Guess what? You are now at the top of the mountain!

It is truly amazing what a simple shift in focus will do. Take this new knowledge and apply it to your resolutions, or any other changes you want to make. What will you do differently this time? How will you celebrate reaching your goal?

Some people like to think that resolutions always fail. I’ll bet that you can prove them wrong this year!

Some points to remember:

1. You can make a resolution or a change at any time during the year.

Just after the holidays, most people are tired, and probably not at their peak. Don’t have unjust expectations of yourself, we can’t perform at our best all the time, so don’t rush into changes you aren’t ready to make, just because it’s the beginning of a new year, wait until you are in a good frame of mind. Remember, you don’t fail if you fall down, you only fail if you don’t get back up. Falling down and getting back up is part of the process leading to success.

2. Focus on the process.

Many people put too much emphasis on the goal and neglect to put that energy into the process. The goal cannot exist without the process. The more focus you have on each step along the way, the better the chances of reaching your goal.

3. Focus on the process.

Yes, again. It bears repeating. By staying focused on the steps you ultimately put yourself in control and remove feelings of overwhelm. When you focus only on where you are and what you are doing at that moment, you stay mindful, you empower yourself and you give yourself the power to achieve any goal.

- By Arielle Sumner Consoli CPC

We Should Each Praise

Change is a glory
we get day to day
as all the differences
make their display.

Sometimes the change
may be hard to see,
but if you look closely
you'll see a degree.

Change is a blessing
that helps ones to find
the momentary moments
within a fresh mind.

Sometimes the changes
might not look so great,
yet it's the changes
that make lives bouquet.

Change is God's blessings
He gives me and you,
yet oh so many
don't know what to do.

Sometimes the changes
are not read so well
and so oh so many
just never can tell.

The mornings of changing
in their days gone by
just are but a minute
to live and to die.

Yet it's the changes
that we should each praise,
for they are God's gifts
for our future days.

©By Bill Pearce

Love & Marriage

A student asks a teacher: What is love?

The teacher said: in order to answer your question, go to the paddy field and choose the biggest paddy and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick.

The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big paddy,but he wonders....may be there is a bigger one later. Then he saw another bigger one... but may be there is an even bigger one waiting for him Later, when he finished more than half of the paddy field, he start to realize that the paddy is not as big as the previous one he saw, he know he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted. So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand.

The teacher told him, this is love... you keeplooking for a better one,but when later you realize, you have already miss the person.

The student asked: What is marriage then?

The teacher said: In order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick.

The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field, he has picked one medium corn that he feel satisfied, and came back to the teacher.

The teacher told him, this time you bring back a corn.... you look for one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the best one you get.... this is marriage.


- Author Unknown

11 Reasons of Life

1. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, But what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel.

2. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go.

3. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

4. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

5. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone-but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

6. Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.

7. Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

8. Always put yourself in the other's shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts the person too.

9. A careless word may kindle strife; a cruel word may wreck a life; a timely word may level stress; a loving word may heal and bless.

10. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

11. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends with a tear. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one smiling and everyone around you is crying.

Always remember- Life is precious, don't let it slip by.

- Author Unknown

Time of Your Life

As the seconds pass...
We look back...
Of what our lives have held...

As the minutes pass...
We see what fell through the cracks...
Parts of our lives we withheld...

As the hours pass...
We think of what we learned...
What we have taught...
What we have forgot...

As the days pass...
We wish a lot could be returned...
We wish we would of never fought...
You hope they forget-me not...

As years pass...
You stand alone...
They have all grown...
Married and gone...
Or on their own...

As your life passes...
You stand proud...
Looking how well they raise their own...
You did well...
Live on...

- Unknown

Some Signs And Symptoms Of Inner Peace

* A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fears based on past experiences.

* An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment.

* A loss of interest in judging other people.

* A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.

* A loss of interest in conflict.

* A loss of the ability to worry (this is a very serious symptom).

* Frequent, overwhelming episodes of appreciation.

* Contented feelings of connectedness with others and nature.

* An increasing tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen.

* An increased susceptibility to the love extended by others, as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it.


- Author Unknown

Beautiful Love Poem

You've Touched My Heart

You've given me a reason
For smiling once again,
You've filled my life with peaceful dreams
and you've become my closest friend.

You've shared your heartfelt secrets
And your trust you've given me,
You showed me how to feel again
To laugh, and love, and see.

If life should end tomorrow
And from this world I should part,
I shall be forever young
For you have touched my heart

- Unknown

Just One Look, That's All It Took

My cousin was getting married, and I was asked to be a participant in the wedding a groomsman to be exact. Needless to say, I was pretty excited. My cousin lived in California and I lived in Washington, but since my cousin and I were very close, my family and I knew we had to be there for the wedding.

It was a gorgeous fall day in California, a perfect day for a wedding. The church was beautifully decorated and colors danced all over the room as the sun shone through the stained glass windows. I looked as fashionable as ever in my black tux and emerald green vest. The bride was stunning. I never saw two people more happy just to be in each other's presence than I did that day standing at the altar. You could see in their eyes that this was true love. They had each found their other half.

I couldn't help but think about my relationship at home. As much as I wanted to deny it, it was falling apart. She was my first serious girlfriend. I loved her a lot, but when you start to forget the reasons why you got together in the first place and when the negatives start outnumbering the positives, it's time to say goodbye. I wasn't excited to go back home, to say the least, but my family had other obligations so we had to leave the following day.

Our plane left Los Angeles at 4:00 P.M. the next day. We had a two hour layover in Seattle. My parents have a tradition of visiting the gift shops before flights. I decided I would stay at the boarding gate and do some homework. I started to pull out my math book when I looked up and saw HER. I couldn't believe my eyes.

She had on black sandals, black Capri pants and a yellow tank top. She was sitting in the seat across from me, reading a book on the Holocaust. Her shiny black hair hung down over her face and when she brushed it back, I got a true glimpse of her beauty. I was completely entranced before she even knew I existed. I had to say something; I couldn't let this go. How often does an opportunity like this come along? So I decided to introduce myself. I stood up and started to walk toward her. As I got closer, I realized that I wasn't ready to talk to her yet. I had no idea of what to say or how to say it, so I walked right by her and straight into the bathroom. Yes, I know, smooth. After I conquered my nervousness, I walked up to the mirror and practiced. Yes, I practiced¯and all you guys out there know exactly what I'm talking about. I looked in the mirror and went through every single possible way of introducing myself to her. Hello... Hey... How's it goin'?... Haven't I seen you somewhere before? I left the bathroom and, as I walked by her again, I paused then sat back down.

Finally, a breakthrough. It just so happened that when I looked up at her again, she was looking back. Our eyes connected. A warm feeling covered my body. Not a sweaty warmth, but an inner warmth that was beyond comparison. It was more than just a look; we made a connection, and I didn't even know her name.

Something had to be done. I mustered up enough courage to casually look over at
her luggage, which was under her chair, to see if I could read her name and where she was from.

Then, the worst possible thing that could happen in a situation like this happened. Her plane was leaving, and I had to do something. She started gathering up all her things and I started to panic. This could be something special, and I was in jeopardy of letting it slip through my fingers. Then, all of a sudden, she stopped. She pulled out a piece of paper from her planner and started to write something. She stood up, walked over to me, handed me the piece of paper and left without a word. Written on it was, "Just in case you ever get bored," followed by her address.

You know that feeling of complete and utter shock that you can't even speak? Triple it, and that was me. I had no idea of what to do next. She had walked to her gate, and I was left wide-mouthed and speechless. No way was I going to let it end there, so I stood up and ran to the gate from where she was leaving. When I got there, she had just handed in her boarding pass and was walking down the ramp. I prayed and prayed for her to turn around, just once, to see me, but all I saw was the back of her head going down the ramp to the plane. She was gone.

Back home, my relationship with my girlfriend eventually fizzled out. I got a handle on my life again and exactly one month after the encounter at the airport, I wrote her a letter hoping she would remember me. I got a letter back from her almost immediately saying not only did she remember me, but that she had hoped every day for a letter from me in her mailbox.

We are now celebrating our six month anniversary. The connection I made that afternoon at the airport was more than just a guy being attracted to a girl. It was a connection of souls, much as my cousin's was. We've had so many fun memories together, and we have plans for many more. Love found me that amazing day in September. It found my tired, doubtful self waiting at Gate C2D.

Source : From Chicken Soup for the Soul: Teens Talk Relationships
Dan Mulhausen

A True Hero

The life of a major league baseball player involves more than playing baseball. Especially for those that are popular.

Jim Abbott was one of the most popular players from the moment he first donned a major-league uniform for the California Angels in 1989. Abbott, just twenty-one at the time, was one of the rare few who skips the minor leagues completely and begins his professional career in the big leagues.

But that’s not what made Abbott so special to so many.

Abbott was born without a right hand. In fact, Abbott’s right arm extended from his shoulder to just past the elbow joint.

Abbott, though, didn’t make the big leagues because people felt sorry for him. Abbott could pitch.

The Angels took a chance on him by drafting him out of the University of Michigan and he proved in spring training that year that he was ready for the big leagues.

Using a skill he developed as a kid, Abbott could pitch with his left hand, then quickly transfer a right-hander’s glove from the stub of his right arm onto his left hand, in case he had to field the ball.

If a ball was hit back to him, Abbott would catch it, stick the glove under his right armpit, then pull the ball out with his left hand so he could throw it again. And he did all of this in a second or two.

Abbott became a media magnet. Wherever he went, reporters wanted to hear his story. Abbott was overwhelmed, but never lost his pleasant disposition.

Abbott had a smile for everyone, writers and fans alike.

Many times the media relations department of a major-league team gets requests for fans to meet their favorite baseball players. Abbott was no different.

What was different about one particular fan was what made him similar to Abbott.

The Angels had set up a meeting between Abbott and a young boy from the Midwest. The boy, about nine or ten years old, had lost an arm in a farming accident.

Before one game during a long and arduous baseball season, the boy was brought onto the field to meet Abbott. The boy was obviously nervous, his body language telling the story. Head down, shoulders slumped forward, he had no idea what he was in for.

Abbott and the boy met on the field during batting practice before a game. But they weren’t getting much privacy. The media are allowed to remain on the field up to forty-five minutes before game time, and there were plenty of curious onlookers.

So Abbott had an idea. He took the boy down the left- field line and away from anyone who wanted to get close. The two stood in the outfield, talking, watching batting practice and laughing for about an hour.

When the two returned to the dugout after batting practice, the boy’s eyes sparkled. His head was up and his chest was thrust forward. Abbott was asked what he said to the boy, but he wouldn’t reveal what was said.

That was about ten years ago, and the boy is now an adult. I often wonder whatever became of him, but after his meeting with Abbott, I have no doubt he is leading a happy and productive life. Abbott, after all, was living proof for the boy that he could do anything he wanted. Even pitch in the big leagues.

- Joe Haakenson

Losing My Fear of Having Enough

I commented how it's so easy for me to spend $1.50 on soda every day (or more!), but when I walk by homeless people, somehow I fear that if I start to give them money, I won't have enough.

Well today, somehow that fear was lifted. This was not planned, but I had put $3 in my pocket this morning for sodas (it's Friday after all :-) and never got to the place where I buy them. Then, as I was walking to the train, I saw a homeless man ahead and remembered that I had money I could give. So, I took out one of the dollar bills and gave it to him.

I continued walking and came across another one of the regulars who hangs around at the same time and gave him one of the dollars as well.

I have to say it felt good, but I realized that it was not just because I helped someone else. It was also because I let go of my hold on money: the fear that I wouldn't have enough. In giving them the money it made me realize how much the fear of not having enough kept me from helping others who definitely needed it more than me.

It's a difficult situation, because I do walk by these guys almost every day. I'm not sure what will happen the next time I come across them, but I still have one dollar left. And I know there's lots more where that came from, for me and for them :-)

- Author Unknown

Perspective

A couple weeks ago, I shared this little puzzle with you:

What does this say:
Godisnowhere

Did you read
"God is no where"?

Or did you read
"God is now here"?

Well, that little puzzle prompted a lot of interesting feedback. Here are a few of the creative responses we received.

---- I processed today's opening line as "god is no where". But I personally define that as "God is NO where" (in other words, God is in "no specific place", which -- to me -- means, God is EVERYwhere). So the potential for differences in perspective among people can go beyond definition into interpretation. Which calls for even more tolerance!

---- I thought it was interesting, I knew that the line godisnowhere would be about perspective, and I read it as, "God, I snow here". This statement can be taken as, 'I play an essential part in whether there are beautiful snowflakes that pass through my life, and similarly, whether I see them.'

---- Interestingly, my friend's 9 year old deaf son read this as GOD I SNOW HERE!

- Author Unknown

Self-Image

Many people suffer from low self-esteem. Some are aware of this and some are not. Low self-esteem is generally related to a poor self-image. Our self-image is not always what we might wish. We might like to have a self-image of Superman or Wonderwoman, for example, but we might feel that we not only lack super powers but pretty much any power at all.

The funny thing is that we can control our self-image. Every one of us does super things and every one of us should feel like we are absolutely wonderful, remarkable people. If we don't, it is usually because someone else is controlling our self image.

Shake them off! Your self-image is yours alone. Decide how you wish to see yourself, and let that be your self-image. Then start living that image, because that is who you are and who you want to be.

- Author Unknown

How to Make Measurable Progress Toward Your Most-Neglected Goals

To Master Plan your new life, you must begin with long-term goals that correspond to your core values. From that good start, you must establish yearly and monthly objectives. Based on those objectives, you create weekly and daily task lists. Doing all that will help greatly. But if you want to really change your life, you have to learn how to prioritize.

I didn't always know how to prioritize. For much of my business career, I relied on goal setting and task lists and was happy with the results. But when I turned 50 and started writing for Early to Rise, I began to read how other business leaders achieved their goals. And that's when I discovered what a huge difference prioritizing can make.

The most important lesson I learned came from The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. In that book, Covey presents a technique for prioritizing that impressed me greatly and soon became a central part of my planning process.
Divide your tasks, Covey says, into four categories:

* Not important and not urgent
* Not important but urgent
* Important but not urgent
* Important and urgent

In the "not important and not urgent" category, you would put such things as:

- Catching up on office gossip
- Shopping online for personal items
- Answering unimportant phone calls
- Responding to unimportant e-mails

In the "not important but urgent" category, you would include:

- Returning phone calls from pesky salespeople
- Making last-minute preparations for an office party
- Attending a required meeting that doesn't help your career
- Planning for a meeting that doesn't matter

In the "important and urgent" category, you might list:

- Making last-minute preparations for an important meeting with the boss
- Making last-minute sales calls to key clients
- Solving unexpected problems

And, finally, in the "important but not urgent" category, you might include:

- Learning how to write better
- Learning how to speak better
- Learning how to think better
- Working on your novel
- Getting down to a healthy weight

When you break up tasks into these four categories, it's easy to see that you should give no priority at all to "not important and not urgent" tasks. In fact, these tasks should not be done at all. They are a waste of time. Yet many people spend lots of time on them because they tend to be easy to do and sometimes enjoyable in a mindless sort of way. Or because they are afraid to get to work on important tasks because they are afraid of failure.

Even worse than spending time on tasks that are not important and not urgent is spending time on those that are not important but urgent. They should have been dealt with long before they reached the crisis stage.

If you discover that you are spending a lot of time on unimportant tasks, you've got a serious problem. Unless you change your ways, you're unlikely to achieve any of your important goals.

So which tasks should you give priority to?

In Seven Habits, Covey says that most people think they should give priority to important and urgent tasks. But this is a mistake. "It's like the pounding surf," he says. "A huge problem comes and knocks you down and you're wiped out. You struggle back up only to face another one that knocks you down and slams you to the ground." You are "literally beat up by problems all day every day."

All urgent tasks - both unimportant and important - are problematic: They are urgent because you've neglected something or because they are important to other people (like your boss). In either case, you need to find a way to keep most of them from winding up on your daily to-do list. This means making some changes in your work habits - usually a combination of being more efficient and delegating more chores to other people.

Urgent tasks will burn you out. And turn you into an unhappy workaholic. If you want transformation in your life, you have to give priority to the important but not urgent tasks - because those are the ones that will help you achieve your major, long-term goals.

It's not easy.

The important but not urgent tasks whisper, while the urgent tasks shout. But there is a way to get that critical but quiet stuff done in four simple steps:

Step 1. When planning your day, divide your tasks into Covey's four categories: not important and not urgent, not important but urgent, important but not urgent, and important and urgent.

Step 2. You will, of course, have to do the urgent tasks - at least until you get better at taking charge of your schedule. And you will have to find a way to get rid of the tasks that are not important and not urgent. But make sure you include one important but not urgent task that, when completed, will move you closer to one of your long-term goals.

Step 3. Highlight that important but not urgent task on your to-do list. Make it your number one priority for the day.

Step 4. Do that task first - before you do anything else.

Initially, you will find it difficult to do an important but not urgent task first. There are reasons for that.

* Since it is not urgent, you don't feel like it's important. But it is.
* Since it supports a goal you've been putting off, you are in the habit of neglecting it.
* You are in the habit of neglecting it because you don't think it's important and because you might be afraid of doing it.
* You might be afraid of doing it because you know, deep down inside, that it will change your life. And change, even good change, is scary.

But once you start using this little four-step technique, you'll notice something right away.

The first thing you'll notice is how good you feel. Accomplishing something you've been putting off is energizing. It will erase some doubts you have about yourself - doubts caused by years of "never getting to" your long-term goals.

That extra energy and confidence will grow, and will fuel you throughout the day. This will make it easier for you to accomplish other important but not urgent tasks.

As the days go by, you will realize that you are making measurable progress toward your neglected goals. In just a few weeks, you will be amazed at how much you've already done. And in 52 weeks - a short year from now - you will be a brand-new, much more productive person.

That year is going to pass by anyway. You are going to spend the time somehow. Why not do it by taking charge of your schedule? Why not spend that time on yourself - on what's really important to you?

- By Michael Masterson

Words of Swami Vivekananda

Do not think that you are weak.
Stand up and reach all that you wanted to.
You can do anything and everything.

Believe in yourself. All power is within you.
You've have it all that is required to change the world around you.

The Key to Sales Success

Learn to Listen Well :

A vital key to sales success is listening. The ability to listen well is absolutely indispensable for success in all human relationships. The ability to be a good listener in a sales conversation is the foundation of the new model of selling. It leads to easier sales, higher earnings and greater enjoyment from the sales profession.

Being A Good Talker is Not Enough :

Many salespeople have been brought up with the idea that, in order to be good at your profession, you must be a glad-hander and a good talker. You have even heard people say, "You have the 'gift of the gab'; you should be in sales!"

Focus On the Other Person :

Nothing could be further from the truth. As many as seventy five percent of all top salespeople are defined as introverts on psychological tests. They are very easy going and other-centered. They would much rather listen than talk. They are very interested in the thoughts and feelings of other people and they are quite comfortable sitting and listening to their prospects. They would much rather listen than talk in a sales situation. Poor salespeople dominate the talking, but top salespeople dominate the listening.

Practice "White Magic" With Everyone :

Listening has even been called "white magic." It is too rarely engaged in by business people. When a salesperson develops a reputation for being an excellent listener, prospects and customers feel comfortable and secure in his or her presence. They buy more readily, and more often.

Practice the 70/30 Rule :

You've heard it said that God gave man two ears and one mouth, and he is supposed to use them in that proportion.

Top salespeople practice the "70/30 rule." They talk and ask questions 30 percent or less of the time while they listen intently to their customers 70 percent or more of the time. They use their ears and mouth in the right ratio.

Action Exercises :

Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.

First, resolve today that, from now on, you are going to dominate the listening in every sales conversation. Become comfortable with silence.

Second, practice the 70/30 rule in every sales conversation. Listen 70% of the time and only talk and ask questions 30% of the time.

By: Brian Tracy

What We Don't Have

Too many of us are hung up
on what we don't have,
can't have or won't ever have.

We spend too much energy being down,
when we could use that same energy
if not less of it doing,
or at least trying to do,
some of the things we really want to do.

- Unknown

Truth

How and Why do we live in this world?
Because here is the truth.

We know the truth in many ways.
But we do not know it all,

Truth is simple but deeper than sea.
Truth is perfect but higher than heaven.

I am the truth, the way, the life.
Heavenly Father said himself.

Because all phenomena is true,
Truth is a permanent life, existence.

If something is not in truth,
It's wrong, fake, not perfect.

So, we follow the truth between the right
and wrong.

Always
Is there someone disappointed, want be dead?
Seek, ask, knock and look for the truth.

You will enjoy the life forever.
Then, what is the most important truth in our life ?
It is keeping promises between peoples.

- Author Unknown

The Ship Of Life

Across the shore awaits a boat

Though sea's are rough, its still afloat

Raise the sails, held up by mast
Forget the troubles of distant past

As wave crash down upon the deck
Steady the boat; not quite a wreak

Tend the mast, and fix the scrach
Light the lantern with one last match

The storm will end, pull anchor and rope.

Look up to see the stars of HOPE.

- Author Unknown

Straight to the Heart

It was my three-year-old grand daughter, Jani, who gave me the answer to a question I'd been puzzling over. I was visiting both of my daughters in the city that day and had taken the youngest grandchild for a walk. It was only by chance that we came upon that little park, complete with tiny hills and lovely greenery. It was like a little hideaway that not a soul knew was there. Even the sounds of traffic were blocked out.

Jani was enjoying the swing and I sat back to watch her from a wooden bench flanked by shrubs. That was when I felt something indescribable yet so peaceful.

What was that?

I knew I'd felt something like this before at our little country home, but even there I was unable to really identify it. That indescribable "feeling" was the reason we ended up buying the place. We had been looking for an affordable home in the country and finally discovered an old armhouse on an acre and a half thirty-minutes from the city.

The house had been built as a one-room schoolhouse in 1911. The basement was still a dirt cellar. Looking at this old place and thinking of giving up my beautiful home in the city with wall-to-wall carpets, a lovely fireplace and a bay window, was a bit of a downer. I just didn't know if I could do it. Then we walked out across the land and that beautiful feeling hit me.

I commented to my husband, Shawn, "It feels so good here."

We looked through the old place and once again walked out in the yard and as we traveled down a wee slope to an enclosure, that wondrous feeling again came upon me. "Shawn, I can't describe it, but it feels so good here!" I guess I told him that at least three or four times that day.

In the weeks and months that followed our purchase of the home, I received that feeling each time I walked in my enclosed "secret garden."

But I was not the only one to feel this warm energy. When we had company I encouraged each person to spend some alone time in the secret garden and every single one reported the same warm good feeling come over them. But what was it?

Now here I was in a park and I had that same lovely indescribable feeling. I called over to my rambunctious little granddaughter. "Jani, come over here and sit with grandma." She climbed up on the park bench and managed to slow down her little energetic body long enough to listen.

"Jani, will you sit here with me and just close your eyes and see if you feel anything?"

Bless her, she didn't question my weird request; she merely closed her eyes and sat perfectly still. I waited to see if she would experience what I did. And then I kept waiting, as she seemed in no hurry to open her eyes. Strange inactivity, for such a lively little bundle of energy!

Finally I could wait no longer. "Jani?" I touched her shoulder gently encouraging her to open her eyes. As she did, I asked, "Jani did you feel anything?"

Trust a child to cut through all the fuss and head straight for the heart. She broke out with a beautiful, radiant smile and she said, "Oh Gamma, it feel like God giving me a hug!"

- By Ellie Braun-Haley