So many people who have been abused, neglected, and or
hurt in many other ways have great difficulty getting to true
forgiveness. The way to get stuck and block yourself from
forgiveness is to mistakenly believe that by holding on to
your anger, rage, and hate that you are getting revenge
upon the person you choose not to forgive. Nothing could
be further from the truth.
Forgiveness is NOT about justifying anyone's wrong
behaviour, ever. Forgiveness is not about forgetting.
Forgiveness does not mean that you have to reconnect
or have the person you want forgive involved in your life.
Forgiveness is remembering and making a choice to let
go. The letting go is for you. Forgiveness is a gift that you
can give to yourself. If you continue to hold the hurt, anger,
and hate, you only hurt yourself. You are not hurting the
person or persons that hurt you.
In order for forgiveness to be possible it is necessary to
stop blaming. No matter how much we may have suffered
as children we will stay stuck in our pain as long as we
continue to blame our abusers for all that has gone asunder
in our lives.
When we own our own issues, and when we realize that most
of the things we are not pleased about in our lives are a
direct result of our own choices, only this kind of ownership
of our issues will enable us to move forward and to forgive.
Forgiveness is Freedom.
~~~ Ms. A.J. Mahari
