Like many people in this world, I was down, way down. Questioning everything. The light at the end of my tunnel was dim. I was financially, emotionally and mentally strapped. Hope was fading for relief. It seemed no matter how many steps I took forward, I was going twice as many backwards. Tension and strain filled my home. In the midst of all the hardships I was enduring, I worked harder then ever on my faith. Yet, even with my children and husband, I felt alone and hopeless.
Because of my disability, I rarely leave my home. With the help of a very small disability check once a month and the Internet, I ran the house. Banking, bill paying, all household business was done on my computer. Money started to get tighter, bills started to pile. Once you get behind, it is almost impossible to catch up. The electric, water, house payments, all were behind and close to being disconnected. The phone was first, which took the internet. I figured I could do without it, since we had cell phones as a way to connect to the outside world. They were close to being disconnected as well. I had to revert to the old ways of running a home. We started letting everyone know, that we owed. We were trying.
Getting out of the shower, one day, I made a call. It wasn't a phone call, though.
I got dressed, and was combing my hair. I looked in the mirror and broke down. Sobbing, uncontrollably. All alone in the bathroom I fell to the floor. Angry, confused, sad, I hollered out to God, "WHY!?!" I stopped myself, though. Looking up to the ceiling, I said: "God, I know that there is a reason for all things. I also know that things could be worse. I am sorry for feeling sorry for myself. So many people in this world have it so much worse off."
The anger and confusion left me. Sadness remained but what surrounded me was guilt. I had healthy children and a husband with a job. I had a house, some food and family that loved me near by. What was I complaining about?
Therefore, I changed my prayer. From why to what.
"Dear God, what do you want me to do? Guide me." So, for the next thirty some minutes I sat on that floor talking to my ceiling and sobbing. When I rose from the floor, I dried my tears and finished getting ready. I walked out and started my daily housework.
Then an unknown feeling came over me and my mind was flooded with words. I sat down on my couch and got a pen and paper. I closed my eyes and said, "God, I am letting you take over." I started to write. This is what came out: "I am hoping that no matter what road you are on, that you can find some hope and faith." I searched for my Bible, and started reading it. Everyday, I would pray and express my thanks for what I had received and for the strength to get through.
Some six weeks later, I was still struggling. I had a one-dollar bill in my wallet and my husband's checkbook, with which I went out to get some milk and bread. As many do, I often got our food with a check to hold us over until payday. Before I started to shop, though, I stopped at the customer service desk; I took my last dollar and bought one ticket for Wednesday’s power ball. I generally don't play lottery and this was my first ticket in over a year, but I came home and told my husband we were going to win. Then, of course, I forgot all about it.
Thursday morning when I got up, I went about my routine. When I sat down to drink a little of my coffee, this voice in my head said, "Check the power ball." I had forgotten about that! So I turned on my TV and with the satellite still connected, I checked the numbers on the menu. To my surprise, I had matched all but one. One number away from 61 million dollars!
I just about fainted.
First thing I did was call my hubby and we decided to recheck the numbers through the paper. My mother in law confirmed it. Sure enough, I had won, although I didn't know how much it was.
With tears in my eyes, I once again hollered out to God: "Thank you so much!"
It was enough money to catch up! The first thing I did was pay bills, catch up and then bought what I needed to publish this to all whom I could reach. I wasn't thinking that people will win money by reading this, but just that their faith will be restored and rejuvenated.
Do not pray for what you want; instead, ask for guidance about what you need. There is a difference.
Source : Tammymay
Because of my disability, I rarely leave my home. With the help of a very small disability check once a month and the Internet, I ran the house. Banking, bill paying, all household business was done on my computer. Money started to get tighter, bills started to pile. Once you get behind, it is almost impossible to catch up. The electric, water, house payments, all were behind and close to being disconnected. The phone was first, which took the internet. I figured I could do without it, since we had cell phones as a way to connect to the outside world. They were close to being disconnected as well. I had to revert to the old ways of running a home. We started letting everyone know, that we owed. We were trying.
Getting out of the shower, one day, I made a call. It wasn't a phone call, though.
I got dressed, and was combing my hair. I looked in the mirror and broke down. Sobbing, uncontrollably. All alone in the bathroom I fell to the floor. Angry, confused, sad, I hollered out to God, "WHY!?!" I stopped myself, though. Looking up to the ceiling, I said: "God, I know that there is a reason for all things. I also know that things could be worse. I am sorry for feeling sorry for myself. So many people in this world have it so much worse off."
The anger and confusion left me. Sadness remained but what surrounded me was guilt. I had healthy children and a husband with a job. I had a house, some food and family that loved me near by. What was I complaining about?
Therefore, I changed my prayer. From why to what.
"Dear God, what do you want me to do? Guide me." So, for the next thirty some minutes I sat on that floor talking to my ceiling and sobbing. When I rose from the floor, I dried my tears and finished getting ready. I walked out and started my daily housework.
Then an unknown feeling came over me and my mind was flooded with words. I sat down on my couch and got a pen and paper. I closed my eyes and said, "God, I am letting you take over." I started to write. This is what came out: "I am hoping that no matter what road you are on, that you can find some hope and faith." I searched for my Bible, and started reading it. Everyday, I would pray and express my thanks for what I had received and for the strength to get through.
Some six weeks later, I was still struggling. I had a one-dollar bill in my wallet and my husband's checkbook, with which I went out to get some milk and bread. As many do, I often got our food with a check to hold us over until payday. Before I started to shop, though, I stopped at the customer service desk; I took my last dollar and bought one ticket for Wednesday’s power ball. I generally don't play lottery and this was my first ticket in over a year, but I came home and told my husband we were going to win. Then, of course, I forgot all about it.
Thursday morning when I got up, I went about my routine. When I sat down to drink a little of my coffee, this voice in my head said, "Check the power ball." I had forgotten about that! So I turned on my TV and with the satellite still connected, I checked the numbers on the menu. To my surprise, I had matched all but one. One number away from 61 million dollars!
I just about fainted.
First thing I did was call my hubby and we decided to recheck the numbers through the paper. My mother in law confirmed it. Sure enough, I had won, although I didn't know how much it was.
With tears in my eyes, I once again hollered out to God: "Thank you so much!"
It was enough money to catch up! The first thing I did was pay bills, catch up and then bought what I needed to publish this to all whom I could reach. I wasn't thinking that people will win money by reading this, but just that their faith will be restored and rejuvenated.
Do not pray for what you want; instead, ask for guidance about what you need. There is a difference.
Source : Tammymay
